Crankcase (G1)

2009-05-06T23:07:14Z

99.192.64.223: /* Generation 1 */

{{factions|decepticon|decepticong2}}
{{disambig3|Crankcase}}
:''Crankcase is a whiny [[Decepticon]] skidplate from the dumb [[Generation 1 (franchise)|Generation 1]] [[continuity family]].''

[[Image:Crankcase slamevil.jpg|right|250px|thumb|SLAM EVIL PUPPIES!]]'''
Nobody likes '''Crankcase''', and he hates everybody and everything. Once a geeky collection of circuits and servos, Crankcase began life as a menial janitor in the Fuel-Spill Section of the [[Ministry of Energy and Nutrition]] on [[Cybertron (planet)|Cybertron]]. The bullies of his youth put a huge chip on his shoulder, where he now carries a set of heavy guns. He'd rather use them on those too weak to retaliate, and then laugh in their faces while their [[Energon (G1)|energon]] runs out. This makes him momentarily happy; then he goes back to an endless series of griping complaints about every facet of his miserable existence. A complete jerk and slag-piece, he fits fairly well into the [[Decepticon]] military, but adds very little to it. The [[Autobot|Autobots]] certainly wouldn't want him. They already have [[Gears]] and [[Huffer (G1)|Huffer]].

:''French-Canadian name:'' '''Grincheux''' (Grinch)

==Fiction==
===Marvel Comics continuity===
====Generation 1====
{{note|Events from the [[The Transformers (Marvel Comics)|UK-only]] comic stories are in italics.}}
Crankcase was under the command of that vapor-brained [[Megatron (G1)|Megatron]] millions of years ago on Cybertron, but they couldn't even beat up a bunch of pipecleaner pacifists right, and completely lost the source of all knowledge and information, the [[Underbase]]. {{storylink|The Flames of Boltax!|The Flames of Boltax!}} ''Things only got worse after that. Oh sure, we don't know anything that actually happened to Crankcase for over four million years, but they definitely must've gotten worse. In the present day, he had a useless job serving the equally useless Decepticon [[Triumvirate]]. What a bunch of bloated losers. Not that [[Straxus (G1)|Megatron II]] coming along and blowing them away made things any better...none of the Decepticon leaders could ever accomplish anything lasting, so who Crankcase was serving didn't matter. {{storylink|The Fall and Rise of the Decepticon Empire|The Fall and Rise of the Decepticon Empire}}'' Then his [[Triggercon]] "friends" abandoned him to go running off with some [[Mayhem Attack Squad]]. Slag-suckers—like joining a group with an even stupider name than the [[Wrecker|Wreckers]] is going to be some sort of edge in combat. Odds were their commander would end up going mad with power and beat the circuits out of them, anyway. {{storylink|Matrix Quest|Matrix Quest}}

Later, some pathetic [[Primus|"God"]] possessed an even more pathetic [[Emirate Xaaron|Autobot]] and gathered Crankcase with a bunch of other Transformers to battle [[Unicron]]. Right—a swarm of mecha-ants attacking a guy the size of a planet. That was really going to work. Anyway, [[Optimus Prime (G1)|some Autobot]] made a really long and self-important speech, picked up [[Creation Matrix|some knick-knack]] he found lying around and yada yada yada, someone was probably expecting Crankcase to clean up the mess. Not a chance. {{storylink|On the Edge of Extinction!|On the Edge of Extinction!}}

Some new guy named [[Bludgeon (G1)|Bludgeon]] took over the Decepticons after that and used [[Metallikato|the scientific method]] to pick a new world to plunder. The weak little inhabitants of [[Klo]] put up no fight whatsoever, which was really pathetic. Then the Autobots showed up and got massacred, which was even more pathetic. THEN the Autobots all started coming back to life and doing annoying things like caving in Crankcase's entire skull. He knew it would come to this, he just knew it. {{storylink|End of the Road! (US)|End of the Road!}}

=====Marvel UK future timelines=====
''In 2009, [[Galvatron (G1)|Galvatron]] brought Crankcase and the Triggercons along with him to destroy an Autobot resistance movement, but he did all the work himself and then told them to stay out of his fight with [[Hot Rod|Rodimus Prime]]. What was the point of bringing Crankcase along anyway, then? {{storylink|Aspects of Evil!|Aspects of Evil!}}''

=====''Another Time and Place''=====
So once Bludgeon realized he was a lousy leader, his brilliant solution was to revive a leader that was even worse: Megatron. Crankcase (having his head un-smooshed by some idiot) got dragged along to [[Hydrus Four]], where Bludgeon had the lame idea of using [[Nucleon]] to revitalize their old commander. "Great, another leader who talks with his fists," thought Crankcase. Crankcase was so sure everything would go wrong, he wasn't even impressed when the Decepticons captured the [[Dinobot (G1)|Dinobots]] with the [[Holocaust Trigger]] and didn't even have to raise a weapon. Big whoop. Oh sure, Crankcase took his turn torturing their captives like all the other Decepticons, but he just knew the Dinobots would get free and ruin everything, he just knew it. So it was no surprise to Crankcase when he came across the [[Micromaster]] named [[Roadhandler (G1)|Roadhandler]] about to free [[Grimlock (G1)|Grimlock]]. The Dinobot commander charged Crankcase and hit him with enough force to embed the Triggercon in the far wall. {{storylink|Another Time and Place|Another Time and Place}}

====Generation 2====
{{note|[[Simon Furman|Some idiot]] decided that "Another Time and Place" will have no relation to G2, which is pointless as the [[Human|dumb stubby]] wrote "Another Time and Place", and it means Crankcase's skull would start out smashed.}}
[[Image:CrankcaseG2-7shooting.jpg|right|150px|thumb|My toy's head is way lamer than this.]]
Some idiot un-smooshed Crankcase's head, so he remained an active member of Bludgeon's army. That was stupid. It was only a matter of time before he would get injured again, like from Generation 2 Cybertronian acid rain, so what was the point of repairing him? No one ever listens to Crankcase, though, so he went ahead and died when the Cybertronians caved in his chassis. {{storylink|New Dawn|New Dawn}}

It figures that Megatron was in charge again by this time. Crankcase had no luck under Megatron before, [[Furmanism|what chance did either have now?]] {{storylink|The Power and the Glory|The Power and the Glory}} You didn't think they'd win a battle against [[Jhiaxus (G2)|Jhiaxus]], now did you.
{{-}}
===IDW comics continuity ===
[[Image:Stormbringer3 NebulousDecepticons2.jpg|right|200px|thumb|Nebulos: it's... so... YOWZAH!]]
Crankcase was stuck on [[Nebulos]] with a bunch of other incompetent Decepticon redshirts that quickly got their skidplates handed to them by that [[Pretender]] [[Thunderwing (G1)|Thunderwing]]. Yeah, like nobody expected that to happen. {{storylink|Stormbringer issue 3|Stormbringer issue 3}}

===Timelines===
In the [[TransTech]] city of [[Axiom Nexus]], [[Ruckus (G1)|Ruckus]], [[Needlenose]] and Crankcase assaulted what they thought was an [[Energon (G1)|energon]] refinery, but it turned out to be a waste fuel storage depot. Eyuw. {{storylink|Around Cybertron}}

==Toys==
[[Image:G1Crankcase toy.jpg|right|200px|thumb|What a waste of plastic.]]
===Generation 1===
*'''Crankcase''' (Triggercon, 1988)

: Crankcase transforms into a four-wheel-drive off-road vehicle of indeterminate model. Similar to the other Triggercons, he has flip-out weaponry, which in his case are two double-barreled laser cannons which deploy from his robot-mode backpack/shoulders using a gear mechanism. In vehicle mode, they flip out from his camper and through his windshield. The windshield HE JUST HAD WASHED, thank you very much. Some people...

: None of the Triggercons (or Triggerbots) were released in [[TakaraTomy|Takara]]'s ''Transformers'' lines.

==Trivia==
* A [[Movie (franchise)|live-action movie series]] [[homage]] character, [[Crankcase (Movie)|Crankcase]], was released as a Wal-Mart [[exclusive]] as a late part of the [[Movie (toyline)|live-action movie toyline]]. The [[redeco]] was originally intended to be ''this'' Crankcase, and part of the [[Universe (2008 franchise)|2008 ''Universe'' toyline]]. Notably, his head can smoosh as part of his transformation.

{{-}}
==External links==
*[http://www.tfu.info/1988/Decepticon/Crankcase/crankcase.htm Crankcase's stupid toy at TFU.info.]

*[http://www.ntfa.net/universe/english/index.php?act=view&char=Crankcase Crankcase's Universe profile at NTFA.net, like anyone cares.]

*[http://www.seibertron.com/toys/gallery.php?id=120&size=0&start=0 Seibertron.com's <s>waste of effort</s> Crankcase gallery.]

[[Category:Decepticons]]
[[Category:Generation 1 characters]]
[[Category:Generation 2 characters]]
[[Category:Timelines characters]]

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Crankcase (G1)