Human

A typical human.

Humans (also known as: fleshlings, squishies, and "dumb stubbies", Homo sapiens as they prefer) are bipedal, usually tiny organic beings found on Earth and like planets. Though quite weak, fragile, and technologically backwards, they have sometimes aided the Autobots and thwarted the Decepticons once the Transformers' age-old war spilled onto the humans' primitive homeworld.

Overview

Physiology

Humans are suspiciously familiar creatures. Though they are made of soft, organic materials, they share remarkable physical similarities with Transformers as a species. Most Transformers and humans walk upright on two long legs attached to a tall body, with two limbs attached at the shoulders. At the shoulders is the head, just like a Transformer's, which sports two eyes in the center at equal distance from the olfactory sensor array, above a mouth which opens for speaking and for ingesting energy. Like Transformers, they are social creatures, who trade and barter wares and develop emotional attachments to peers. Eerily enough, they possess a nearly identical emotional spectrum, ranging from laughter, joy, and satisfaction to depression, anger, and cruelty. It is not uncommon to find Transformers who have even developed strong spiritual bonds with individual creatures. This is disgusting.

Humans are made up of several specialized units called organs. The major organs are internalized, but are extremely frail. Damage is hard to repair, and they have yet to develop a method of replicating these organs, usually requiring harvesting from compatible humans. Major organs include the brain, the central data processessor, the heart, the primary engine core, and the lungs, which holds the oxygen needed for survival. Humans run on a fuel they term blood, which is self replicating, although tremendous loss will result in permanent deactivation.

Humans come in both Tall and Venti.

There are some differences, however increasingly fewer as interaction with humans has influenced Transformers culture. A human's organic tissue will begin failing just one quarter into his or her lifespan, and will spend the next three quarters growing ever less efficient until the human's lifeforce can no longer sustain itself. As a result, humans are saddeningly short-lived creatures. (It is not sure how they find the time to accomplish anything, though as a side effect it has made their wars mercifully shorter.) Interestingly, humans do not build new members of their race. To the contrary, humans are what they have deemed "sexually dimorphic," meaning one subvarient of their species, classified as male, will implant structural data, which they call "DNA", in the other. This second subvarient, classified as female, will grow a new human (or occasionally more than one human, although this is rare) inside them like a parasite and release it when it is ready. The standard time period for being held is three quarters of a single Earth year, but if released too early the new human risks death. The new human is very stupid and will take years to acclimate itself to their society. There is apparently much rubbing involved in the creation of the new human, and it sometimes also includes kissing. Humans appear to be reticient when it comes to discussing the practice, and several attempts at accumulating further information on the process have been staved off by awkward silence. This is confusing, as humans generally give the impression that they supremely enjoy it, and have refused all suggestions that they learn the technology to build their own from spare parts.

Technology

Although Earth is rich with natural resources, Human technology is surprisingly primitive. They had only begun to experiment with outer atmosphere travel at the time the Great War began on Earth, and they have limited communication methods. Although their locomotive devices, called "cars", are suitable for Transformation, they are incredibly energy inefficient, potentially dangerous, and quite crude. Despite this, the type of car is often seen as a status symbol among humans, apparently the larger the car the more status achieved. Some humans claim that those with large cars are "compensating" for some other sort of size deficiency—unsurprising, considering how tiny humans are compared to the Autobots and Decepticons.

Human military technology is equally unimpressive. They have yet to develop any form of workable energy weapons, and no shield technology either. There primary weapons are devices called guns, which shoot small, metallic projectiles called bullets using a crude explosive called gunpowder. These are more than capable of killing other humans, but they are extremely ineffecient when fending off any attacking Decepticons.

Culture

The humans of Earth wear hardhats regardless of their profession.

Despite their lack of the multi-dimensional transwarp Spark, a great number of humans believe in an analogous concept, the intangible soul. This has been confirmed to be the equivalent of a Transformer's personality program in an odd experiment, when the human Spike Witwicky's personality was uploaded to an empty Transformer body cobbled together from spare parts. The human's consciousness was not suitable for digitization, and quickly deteriorated toward psychosis.

Many also believe in supernatural beings, either singular or plural, who have a direct but intangible stake in their lives. Once a week the more religious humans will gather together and sing songs at the ceiling, as the presumed direction of these beings is away from the gravity well of their planet. Unlike the historical Covenant of Primus, their holy books are not incorruptible encrypted public-key datatracks. Instead, they frequently re-encode the writings of multiple authors in an inefficient and apparently lossy process. Then they fight about which "translation" is correct instead of simply downloading the original encoding algorithm.

Despite having no concrete evidence these beings exist, and despite the records of the Beast Wars affirming their evolution from bipedal primates, the humans continue to assume these premises are true. This seems like a waste of spent attention, especially with such short lifespans, as no credible sources have substantiated that their alleged creator has ever transformed out of their world into a giant humanoid and fought its eternal enemy before their eyes. A number of humans do acknowledge this fallacy, but others maintain it with a zeal that leads one to wonder if they are malfunctioning. Many human traditions are puzzling.

The most familiar breed of humans are native to the planet Earth, though they can be found practically anywhere in the galaxy. For example, Nebulos is such a place, though some reports claim these humans are of green texture rather than various shades of beige. Femax is populated by humans of Transformer size. Pz-Zazz is also home to Transformer-sized humans, but it is not known whether they are indigenous to that world. It is possible that the tiny version of humans found on Earth is the exception, rather than the rule.

External links

• Humans like to write about themselves. This, too, erupts into war.
  
  
  From Teletraan I: The Transformers Wiki, a Wikia wiki.