Furmanism

Rhythms of Darkness!: A Furmanism in every bite!

Transformers writer Simon Furman is infamous among fans for dialogue concepts that are frequently retarded. Such repeated phrases are known informally as Furmanisms.

CAN I DO LESS?

• "Always lived life in the FAST LANE -- guess you DIED that way, too! Can we do any less?" --Jazz, Life in the Slow Lane
• "I've stood here and watched humans -- frail flesh creatures -- fight and die for their world. CAN I DO LESS?" --Jazz, Rhythms of Darkness!
• "You are WRONG! You were ready to sacrifice yourself to save my family. CAN I DO LESS FOR YOU?" --Jose, A Savage Place!
• "Kup, there's got to be another way! Ratchet sacrificed everything to save us -- can we do less?" --Sureshot, The Price of Life!
• "The real Scorponok wouldn't have turned and fled! He'd have accepted his responsibilities, his FATE! Can I then do less?" --Scorponok, On the Edge of Extinction!

FIGHT AND DIE

• "Yeah. Better to FIGHT AND DIE-- than live with the knowledge that I ran!" --Jazz, Rhythms of Darkness!

• "We're Dinobots; we stick together, fight together -- and DIE together, if necessary! Better that than live with the knowledge that we turned and ran, abandoned a comrade!" --Swoop, Still Life!

• "What of it? Better to die a warrior's death than endure this mockery of life!" -- Crankcase, The Fall and Rise of the Decepticon Empire

• "Better to die a hero than live as a coward." --Narration, Salvage!

• "Hold still, relic... Better to stand and die than perish in ignominous flight!" --Random G2 Cybertronian chasing Tracks, Total War!

THE WORST CASE OF INDIGESTION IT'S EVER HAD

• "Well, then... I'm about to give you the worst case of INDIGESTION you've EVER had!" --Megatron, Dark Shadows!
• "READY. Let's give this stuff the worst case of INDIGESTION it's EVER had!" --Dirge, A Rage in Heaven!
• "Let's give this creature... the worst case of INDIGESTION it's ever had." --Optimus Prime, Worlds Collide, Part 4

IT CAN BE DESTROYED

• "He's not invincible! He can be hurt!" --Buster, Robot Buster!
• "Springer's right! If they can hurt... they can BE HURT!" -Inferno, Survivors!
• "This is no demon, no ghost! It is metal and circuitry! It can feel pain -- IT CAN BE HURT!" --Optimus Prime, Skin Deep
• "Concentrate your fire! It has FORM, it has SUBSTANCE... it can be DESTROYED!" --Mindset, Swarm
• "Whatever that thing is, it has mass, it has substance... IT CAN BE DESTROYED!" --Jhiaxus, A Rage in Heaven!
• "Ultimately, Megatron is argonized steel and polymer sinew, just like us. He can be HURT... He can be KILLED..." --Starscream, Infiltration issue 6

IT IS OVER -- FINISHED!

• "To be honest, CHAINCLAW-- I don't know why we're BOTHERING! The war's over -- FINISHED!" --Jazz, Rhythms of Darkness!
• "I'm warning you, Prime -- Interfere now and the alliance is over, FINISHED!" -- Scorponok, ...All This and Civil War 2
• "Do you not understand? It's OVER -- FINISHED!" --Bludgeon, End of the Road!
• "And now... it is time for this mindless war to cease. It is done, finished." --The Last Autobot, End of the Road!
• "ENOUGH! Do you not understand, Decepticons? It is over -- FINISHED!" -- Optimus Prime, End of the Road!
• "And suddenly, in one massive stroke - it was done, finished." -- Narrating Optimus Prime, Another Time and Place
• "The war is over, finished." -- Optimus Prime War Without End
• "That's ENOUGH, Kup! It's OVER -- finished! Do you HEAR me?!" -- Optimus Prime, Primal Fear!
• "IDIOTS! INCOMPETENTS! I am surrounded by DOLTS! This should have been over, FINISHED!" -- Jhiaxus, Dark Shadows!
• "Officially, hostilies are OVER, finished. Maximal-Predacon, we're one big happy family. But WE know different." -- Lio Convoy, The Gathering issue 1

IT NEVER ENDS

• "And so it ends! Though it never really ends, does it?" --Shockwave Time Wars
• Okay, okay. I know I have a responsibility, a duty! But when does my contract expire? When does it end?" "It never ends, Spike." -- Spike Witwicky & Fortress Maximus, The Last Autobot?
• "But it never ends." --Optimus Prime (opening narration), Another Time and Place
• "The future holds only conflict and mayhem! It never ends!" --Optimus Prime (closing narration), Another Time and Place
• "I wish I could share their elation, believe that is truly over. Before he died, Jhiaxus mentioned a name, a place. In my heart of hearts, I know... IT NEVER ENDS!" --Optimus Prime, A Rage in Heaven!
• "As one they attack, Autobots and Decepticons who fought for and against the dream, now united in the pantheon of Transformer myth. Their time, they thought, had come and gone. But some battles... NEVER END!" --Narration, Reaching the Omega Point
• "Even the business of running a bitter war of attrition does nothing to stave off the dark, foreboding, fracturing of my psyche. I see the end. But the shuddering, lurching instant brings scant comfort. For I know, deep down... IT NEVER ENDS!" --Optimus Prime, Stormbringer issue 1

LIKE SOME PREDATORY BIRD

• "I now believe a SECOND menace exists, one that hovers like some predatory bird at the edge of my consciousness." --Optimus Prime, Devices and Desires!
• "Ahead, hovering like some vast, predatory bird on the fringes of Fahl Space... the Decepticon flagship, Twilight--" Narration, New Dawn
• "Like some dread bird of prey, Megatron would hang suspended in the upper atmosphere, raining lightning bolts down on enemy emplacements while his drone (ground) troopers picked off any who attempted to flee or fight back." --Description of Megatron's vehicle mode.Transformers: The Movie Guide

NEVER DID WANT TO LIVE FOREVER!

• "Demolishor! Oh, well... never expected to live forever!" --Smokescreen, Worlds Collide, Part 2
• "Thunderwing. HNH. Never DID want to live forever." --Springer, Stormbringer issue 2
• "Oh well... never DID want to live forever!" --Snarl, You Can Draw Transformers
• "You think? Oh well... never DID want to live forever!" --Ratchet, Transformers Magazine UK, Issue 2

REAP THE WHIRLWIND!

• "Our sins remembered, final judgement pronounced. The heavens opened, and we reaped, I say... REAPED THE WHIRLWIND." --Spinister, Worlds Collide, Part 2
• "When you posted me to this backwater rock in space, you were sowing the seeds of your OWN destruction! Now... REAP THE WHIRLWIND!" --Starscream, Infiltration issue 6
• "We saw the signs, the portents--the dark clouds gathering on our horizons. And yet we averted our eyes, pretended it wasn't coming. And in doing so we unleashed a storm of even greater magnitude, one that so very nearly destroyed us all. And now, it seems... others shall REAP THE WHIRLWIND." --Optimus Prime inner monologue, Stormbringer issue 2

SURPLUS TO REQUIREMENTS

• "Doesn't matter we came through for you guys, almost got ourselves killed in the process...we're now just surplus to requirements, RIGHT?" --Hunter O'Nion, Escalation issue 1
• "We have to find him...before whoever has him decides he's SURPLUS to requirements." --Verity Carlo, Escalation issue 4
• "HEADMASTERS. In evolutionary terms, the next step. Which rather makes you two...SURPLUS to requirements!" --Machination Headmaster guy, Devastation issue 2

TIME I MADE A STAND!

• "If I turn away now, I'll just keep on turning away. Sometimes you have to make a STAND!" -- Carnivac, Way of the Warrior, UK #237
• "No! I've had it with running! I left those soldiers to the Decepticons' tender mercies, I won't do it with you! IT'S TIME I MADE A STAND!" - Carnivac again, A Savage Place!, UK #239
• "Instead of running around like headless chickens we should be trying to HELP her! I say we make a STAND!" -- Thunderpunch, On the Edge of Extinction!, US #75

WHAT CHANCE DO WE HAVE?

• "In my OWN time I destroyed an entire RACE of Autobots, their MIGHTIEST LEADER! What CHANCE then -- DO YOU HAVE?!" --Galvatron II, Surrender!
• "If all those Autobots, all those humans, couldn't save Earth... WHAT CHANCE DO WE HAVE?" --Prowl, Rhythms of Darkness!
• "Galvatron accounted for the most powerful Autobots around, so what chance do I have?" --Jazz, Rhythms of Darkness!
• "Even the Mighty Optimus Prime has fallen! What chance then, for the rest of us?" --Scorponok, On the Edge of Extinction!
• "If even THIS great force can fall, what chance then for the REST of us?" -- Optimus Prime, On the Edge of Extinction!
• "Five of us, weaponless, against the whole blasted Decepticon army! WHAT CHANCE DO WE HAVE?" --Prowl, End of the Road!

YOU WON'T BELIEVE THE THINGS I CAN DO NOW!

• "That was just a small demonstration. You won't BELIEVE the things I can do now!" --Cyclonus, Fire & Ice
• "But these days...you won't BELIEVE the things we can do!" --Bludgeon, The War Within: The Dark Ages issue 4
• "Prime...you won't BELIEVE the things I can do now!" --Megatron, Escalation issue 5

Footnotes

From Teletraan I: The Transformers Wiki, a Wikia wiki.