User:Fallen13

I'm relatively new to the TFWiki, signing up almost at the same time that Revenge of the Fallen came out. At first I only wanted to see when ROTF character pages got their movie appearances put in, but I plan to do a bit of editing where I see fit.

I had made plans to make a Transformers Abridged with a friend of mine, but I regret to say it never happened. BUT I REFUSE TO GIVE UP!

My favorite Transformers

• Every Soundwave ever.
• Every Shockwave ever. Including Shockblast.
• Every Optimus ever.
• Every Megatron ever. And, by extension, every Galvatron ever as well.
• The Fallen.
• Unicron.
• Primus.
• Every Grimlock ever.
• ROTF Devastator.
• ROTF Sideswipe.
• Definitely ROTF Jetfire.
• Every Ravage ever.
• To be honest, almost everybody in the movies.
• The original Waspinator.

I bet there will be more to be added to this favorites list, but for now this is it.

The Transformers Abridged: possible personality tweaks

• Optimus would be extremely boring, prone to monologues about nothing, and extremely irritated by the personality flaws of everyone else.
• Bumblebee would have a serious self-esteem issue, stemming mostly from his height. As Goldbug, this is downtoned but still there.
• Ironhide would pretty much be a tough guy-type.
• Ratchet would basically be the fix-it guy with a slight inferiority complex.
• Jazz would be very upbeat, very hip, and very well-liked. Very much unlike Movie Ratchet would be.
• Prowl would be strict and orderly, and would absolutely despise Grimlock. So yeah, a giant prick.

I don't have the patience to add on to this now, but just wait, it'll be longer soon enough.

Movie Abridged: possible personality tweaks

• Optimus would be extremely boring, prone to monologues about nothing, and extremely irritated by the personality flaws of everyone else.
• Bumblebee would probably change the least personality-wise, but the radio/song excerpts will be more humorous.
• Ironhide would just be extremely trigger-happy.
• Ratchet would be the British guy no one likes.
• Jazz would be obsessed with being flashy about everything he does.

• Megatron would just be cruel and power-crazed.
• Starscream would be even less sneaky about his traitorous intentions than any of the other Starscreams.
• Barricade would just be a cop. A very evil cop.
• Blackout would be even worse than Lugnut in the fanatically-loyal department.
• Bonecrusher would be the seething caukdron of hatred this wiki has made him out to be.
• Brawl would be a raging fighting machine. With anger issues.
• Frenzy would be jittery, stupid, and annoying.
• Scorponok would talk like a surfer/skater.
• The Transformers created by the AllSpark would advertise whatever they transformed into.

Revenge of the Fallen: possible personality tweaks

• See above for Optimus, Bumblebee, Ironhide, and Ratchet.
• Jetfire would be old and senile.
• Skids, because of Michael Bay's description of the Twins acting like white guys trying to be black, would act like Vanilla Ice.
• Mudflap, as an exact opposite of the above description, would act like Michael Jackson. Anyone who says "too soon" loss their face privileges.
• Sideswipe would be a serious egomaniac. Like, worse than Animated Thundercracker.
• Arcee would be treated as three separate robots. Arcee herself would be like a stereotypical mother. At all times.
• Chromia would pretty much be unhealthily obsessed with Ironhide.
• Elita-1, as she's being called now, would be the polar opposite of Arcee. By that, I mean Elita-1 would be a guy. And an alcoholic.
• Jolt would crave attention, based on his small number of appearances and lack of lines.
• Wheelie would use mafia lingo. Which would sound hilarious spoken in a squeaky chipmunk voice.

• See above for Megatron and Starscream.
• The Fallen would be a standard evil villain. Except hammier. Worse than BW Megatron.
• Soundwave would mess up all his lines. Just because.
• Ravage would need dialogue to be funny, but little, if any, of it would be intelligible English. Or just plain intelligible.
• The microcons would be the ultimate Bakugan joke, with references being their every line. Which, since I know nothing about Bakugan, means I'd need to do some research.
• Reedman, for lack of a better idea, would use the words "flat" or "skinny" in every sentence.
• Grindor would be a master planner, but the planning is his every bit of dialogue.
• Scalpel, already having a German accent, would be easy to make a Nazi.
• Sideways would be an extraordinary coward. Worse than Animated Skywarp.
• Demolishor, despite my respect for his awesome, would be a big, dumb oaf. And a human-hater.
• Alice would be a prostitute. Until she loses the Pretender-esque disguise. Then she'd be a prostitute version of Frenzy.
• Because he's identical to Demolishor in body structure, Scavenger would be identical in personality as well.
• Rampage would be a complete psycho.
• Long Haul would whinily complain about everything in existence.
• Mixmaster would be a mad scientist.
• Scrapper would be gay. Why? Because I said so.
• Overload would be a hippie. Why? I direct you to the Scrapper comment.
• Hightower would be retarded. I mean... just look at him!
• Devastator would be a gorilla. A psychotic gorilla.
• Starscream's Insecticon drone would be a lot liks G1 Shrapnel. Speech pattern and all.
• The unnamed Decepticon protoforms would all throw around Internet slang.
• Not-Bonecrusher would have the same personality of his not-counterpart.
• The appliancebots would all attempt to advertise whatever they transform into. Ejector included.

And now... The Meaning of Life

While it is not well-known that people like to bathe in macaroni, everyone loves to shave spoons. However, if one spoon is overshaved, the cookie dough will revolt, causing the nearest idiot within a five-pencil radius to implode, which in turn forces God to spill his orange juice everywhere. Only upon this spilling of the juice of the orange may a sock murder a grapefruit. This will influence ants to flush every toilet on Mercury with rotten snake milk while eating your dog. The poor puppy will visit a psychiatrist to cure his cancer, but it will only make fish peel lemons. Each lemon will contain a large sum of zombie whales that will set up underwater fireplaces with history textbooks, which will invite transvestite scorpions and radioactive monkeys into the Eiffel Tower. Once the top is reached, the president of George W. Bush can use a kitchen knife to put together a one-piece jigsaw puzzle. The completion of the puzzle releases musical instruments from Hell possessed by Jesus. There will be religious debates between the Jedi and the Decepticons involving how Cuba invented the letter Q. This letter will become the supreme ruler of dairy products, which have the ability to shoot bazookas out of grenades. The time span of this most patriotic process is between 0.000001 seconds and five billion centuries. Between then, carbonated chocolate bars will melt DVDs into raw magenta paper. The paper will mass-produce fresh fried chicken until the flying pigs get pneumonia and lose The Game. Upon this loss, Iron Man and Chuck Norris will team up to detonate Ohio's little toe with a pumpkin computer. When the brown-green car attempts to devour the detonation, high school janitors will draw video games and play the light bulb until the crack of eggs. The cracked eggs will smoke weapons of mass destruction in the back of Elvis Presley's fridge, forcing radios around the square to summon cheese worms from South Korea. Raw xylophones will stop at nothing at everything to smell the fire blanket. As petunias discover SPARTAAAAA!, the rings of Mars will come unplugged, resulting in the extinction of intelligent blondes. It will take over 9000 bears to screw in a lunch box. This holy box of lunches will paint a can opener the color seven. In the event of said can opener coming to the conclusion that war gives you gas, every vampire in the pencal sharpener will give John McCain a hockey puck. The first map to come into mental contact with the puck will get enlisted into the Italian pizza. Aliens have an acute sense of recycling and will read the Vietnam flag until the three-ring binders vomit air fresheners. One air freshener will take its time and hurry up to move next door to a couch and a washing machine. The two have been married for twenty waffles and have given birth to five wonderful ghost turtles. It is inevitable that all twenty waffles will form a band and yodel the national anthem of the Mushroom Kingdom. The lightning will, of course, be in another author, but Pac-Man will try to capture all of the Chaos Emeralds in Poké Balls before Meta Knight conquers Hyrule anyway. Emergency action will be taken if obscure communism references take over pies, which will mean that all your base are belong to floor tiles. The capture of all your base will create a peaceful tomorrow, where corn can translate the Bible into lolspeak. Permanent markers can be seen on the radio from nine to R. Be warned that the cake is a lie and you're doing it wrong. Towels with severe acne will turn the Internet into edible chairs. If the chairs want to use a microwave, they will first run out of carrots. After one cowardly carrot bravely absorbs a platypus, it will begin to rain snow. Texas will be sued for several thousand G.I. Joes by Santa Claus's middle finger. In case the bread must be amputated, mints will donate Jim Carrey to the Turkish god of pirates. Shoes will become well-educated in the ways of the glass window, and will soon realize that your mom failed a blood test. Global warming is revealed to be a girl, which will come as a party to lab coats after werewolves get some sunlight. Sunlight may not be available a certain Radio Shack restaurants, so sever your leg please; it's the greatest day. The next time the ninja peanut declares himself to be Batman, bologna air conditioners will contain more than fifty doctors. Star Wars fans dressed as Spock will vote for the salad to legalize bathrooms in matchboxes. If a tree falls on an island and no one's around to taste it, deaf people will be the first to hear about new Whizzo Butter, which is impossible to distinguish from a dead crab. Genetically-altered giraffes will shoot Magic 8-Balls out of theia souls, forcing millions of cement mixers to stop churning horses and take up gambling. The newly-churned horses will put slot machines inside every notecard, just in case it begins to hail on the sun. This perfectly normal weather persuades moss to grow on beetles that are catrerpillars. Television will finally get revenge on cats for stealing its curly fries that one time. Pluto is immune to planet-eating monsters, as it is no longer a podium. Brick-hunting season will begin when it begins, which has folders questioning their rice. In the crasj=hing economy of the chili that went bad in my drain pipes, Optimus Prime will run on the blood of non-Christians unless dishwashers can find the Windex. This will cause a peaceful catastrophe that will lead the fire departments to take hats to jail in an ambulance. Highlighters will get along with sudoku puzzles in the power cord of the triangle when Mr. T's agenda goes to Burger King to order a Big Mac. The Democrats will combine with pregnant ink blots to form Hanukkah's smallest largest wheelchair. Stomachs will get sick to their tongues with heart disease in their vocal chords as they cast their ballots to purchase that train in the window of the nearest Home Depot to Michael Jackson's secret stash of garbage disposal chalk. Argentina will play billiards alone with Toyota to discuss the large amounts of root beer in one mozzarella stick. Unfortunately, the latest news on orange pens has revealed that this movie has been rated ADHD for Obnoxiously Biased Towards the Square Root of How to Get Back Onto the Freeway with Pepto-Bismol, and is not suitable for racist penguins. The more geometric side-effects of Pepto-Bismol include rebelling against the periodic table and running laps around a turkey. The Easter bunny will epic win for poking any elbows caught stalking bubbles. Lollipops and Tootsie Rolls wil not fit in a blender unless water can fight toasters. Should cell phones dissolve a zoo, wait one hour before taking the oven out of the microscope. Science has once again forgotten that if you choke a Smurf, the canary will photograph an apple. The apple will become self-conscious about the way a closet sounds stapling pogo sticks to pens. Ostriches will take flight to hypothesize about magic. Milhouse will never be a meme, but the queen of the asparagus will make clay out of dental floss. Contact lenses will ban the ecosystem from cooking with basketballs. Eyeballs who live off the basketballs will walk into space to write a doorknob. This invincible knob will have jury duty every other minute because of a pickle. The stopwatch will have a cold from the time until the place. Calculators will do homework as a bomb fishes in the poster for a steak. Anonymous bridges will protest dictionaries, will distract a legion of airplanes from taping magazines. Forty-threeve lucky magazines will profanely censor a fork. The fork is the only eraser that can properly reshingle a stop sign, but Godzilla will deflate the candles without invisible glue for the pebbles. If the pebbles are deprived of their glue, they will evolve into yogurt and invade yellow. That way, when the beanstalk drills Nintendo into a foreign mustache's birth certificate, the sink's mother-in-law can use a hacksaw to clip his toenails. As the purses get closer apart, saxophones from the planet Frankenstein will build a talk show while finding inner peace. Catapults have the personality of a pinwheel, and crayons are effective torture methods against suicidal dragons. On average, one dragon will gain weight at a randomly constant pace until a two-thirds decision from the baseballs sparks a miracle of the most satanic proportions, and let's face it, the chicken noodle soup with the soda on the side is asking for it. If at first you don't succeed, sacrifice your brother to a cherry. After the cherry is appeased, royal scissors will dig a tunnel to the moon with an honest lie and a lot of poems. In turn, mosquitoes will contradict money on days that end in detergent. Look down at the stars and you will still never find domestic violence in plumbers. Classical music is made of the number Z, so the buried treasure can be found if you dig to five inches away from where you're going to stand in an hour and remember not to drink your armrests again. Meanwhile, in a bulding, Superman's elevator will crush peas with a feather, leaving tire tracks on the ceiling. The instant the castle explodes in icy lava, mountains will shrink to the size of a galaxy made of pepperoni amoebas. WALL•E will becone a carnivorous vegetarian, but the only one who gives a crap is the cable box wearing a jester's hat.The hat will require a lobotomy to save his nose, which leads animal crackers to trust the dark side of yesterday's compound newspaper. Standardized testing will get poliosis from claustrophobic gorillas after their meat loaf breaks down. Milkshake seeds will argue that cardboard pants are their ancestors while batteries hammer a sandwich. The answer to 2+2 is e. all of the above, because the iPod in question goto Rickrolled by a flower. This epic fail is recorded by paper clips to be the worst lasagna they ever made out with. Aquariums feel obligated to touch the Statue of Liberty's self-destruct button, located in a Chinese restaurant in Germany. Puppets take great tacos in spraying a hospital with insane piranhas who are opposed to the war on literature. Always take popcorn to the fire extinguisher's mayonnaise, as forty-twone will be to their lest. The bank will resort to a box of hot dogs to bring forth a tornado that is a figment of my pancake's imagination. This is considered a way that that babies are made, but the overhead projector will digest its pacemaker during its Jell-O break. Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition! A happy midget will slam a revolving Klondike bar if the bus remains neutral in the growing issue of boats scribbling on a cotton nickel. Thumbtacks with esophagus infections will break into bug repellant to alter the cellular structures of foghorns. The Mediterranian Sea will drown in a cliff, causing dinosaurs to take traffic lights out to dinner. The sugar will get a paper cut while coloring in Hawaii's shoelaces. Something will and won't happen to cause paintbrushes to develop an eternally temporary hatred for feet. If Russia should prohibit the manufacturing of dentists, World War III will start with a hippopotamus. Inside every hut, robots will morph the vice president of a vase's swimming pool into a Digimon, which will be promptly destroyed by terrorist zebras. Any germs caught cheating on a fairy tale will be dipped into a balloon made of clothespins. Unicorns with logs in place of their sushi will sit in a smoke detector pondering why wind makes graphic novels a splode. Ketchup disco balls are not an hero, but a spider will type up a charity. Bill Cosby does not approve of this reindeer, and this diagram has grown a face. The face is undeniably sparkly, and it makes celebrities sniff knowledge. In the beginnning, there was cheezburgers, until POOF! A mirror was gold. Believers of this deceitful raspberry will fart candy algebra while comsuming vacuum cleaners. The walls of a boulder are complete, irredeemable mistletoe. Isolated angels will help themselves to tennis rackets until responsible dynamite with eels in its colon ignites a purple Gatorade. Without this Gatorade, escalators will evaluate the hypnotism of solid liquids. In the discovery that someone set up us the pyramid, frisbees will deny Mexico its perforated thunder while planting axes on clouds. Stopping in mid-sentence is a crime punishable by When boomerang keyboards choose to wear warmer submarines, ogres will suffer from antidisestablishmentarianism.

Oh, and I'm not even CLOSE to finished. I have this written on EIGHT PAGES OF CRAP.