User:WillR113/Sandbox

This is Apocrypha The content of this page is considered to be apocrypha or pseudocanon. Fiction that is considered pseudocanon generally falls into one of two categories. It is most likely either unofficial fiction from an official creator that is so informative as to the creator's thought process and/or so influential to the fandom as to be worth documenting, or fiction that is published in such a way as to render it unofficial, such as fan works published as ancillary or bonus images/fiction with other official work. As such, new ideas and concepts introduced here may not hold true for work that is completely canonical.

Transformers: the Movie (First Draft) is a rejected 1984 script by Ron Friedman which he began shortly after writing of the cartoon’s first season ended. For years the only real information about it came from comments by writer Flint Dille describing it as "incoherent". In 2022 it surfaced at the fan convention TFNATION 2022.  (intro needs work)

Background

(Based this on what Greebtron said on tfw2005. presumably some of this comes from Ron's autobiography haven't read it. he know more than I do) In 1983 Friedman was hired by Sunbow as a writer on G.I Joe scripting the initial mini series. Positive feedback on this leads him to become the "additional dialogue" editor on Transformers. Besides generally reworking dialogue this also involved going through the episodes and replacing insults and banter with Cybertronian equivalents. Lines like "freeze the ailerons off a Titanium Moose-bot" and "what's a test without a Guinea Pigatron" were his doing. When Friedman was hired as editor a clause in his contract stated that a Transformers movie would have to be based on a script he wrote. At the time Hasbro seemed okay with this deal. On 15 August, two days after finishing the season 1 finale, "Heavy Metal War", he wrote an outline which was revised several times over the next month. The exact contents of this are still unknown. This 53 page outline was approved and in November Friedman began the first draft finishing it in February of 1985.  We don't know how much influence Hasbro had over this script. The only concrete detail we have is that they told him to kill off Optimus Prime. Friedman has also said that he created Unicron, Arcee and the Junkions, along with Megatron being rebuilt into Galvatron. Presumably the other movie characters came from Hasbro.

Synopsis

The Decepticons are attacking an old steel mill that the Autobots plan to convert into a new facility. A defence is led by Magnus who commands Tanker, Hot Rod, Arcee, and Wheeljack. Things are desperate for the Autobot forces. Meanwhile an old freight train driven by General Blaze and Rusty Steel transports Autobot reinforcements to the mill. The train is attacked by Decepticon jets led by Megatron. On Prime's orders the Autobots transform and fight the oncoming jets. Starscream ties the tracks in a knot forcing Prime to tell Rails to initiate "Transformation Alpha" as the train turns into a floating high tech bullet train which flies through the assembled troops. As the Decepticons overrun the mill, Prime commands the train to "complete Transformation Beta" as it transforms into a massive fire breathing snake that destroys the enemy forces. Megatron challenges Prime to a fight. You know this part. Seriously, the fight is pretty identical to the final film.  The Autobots gather around the dying Prime. Starscream orders the Decepticons to retreat back to Cybertron, taking the dying Megatron with them. Rusty tells them they can't declare Prime dead in the field and orders them back to headquarters for a full analysis. He also orders Wheeljack to begin construction on a ship to follow the Decepticons.

In space the Decepticons argue who should be the new leader. Arriving at the Decepticon Hall of Heroes they begin to place Megatron's essence in an urn among the fallen leaders. A fight then breaks out over who’ll be his successor which destroys the hall and Megatron's essences float into space as his body is destroyed.  Back on Earth, Prime is taken to the Autobot Headquarters where he is put on life support. The Autobots run into Daniel, a young boy that idolises Rusty. Daniel sadly asks if Prime will make it only for his mother Ellen to show up and tell him she wants nothing to do with Rusty. An alarm sounds and everyone rushes to the dying leader. In space Megatron's essence floats helplessly as he begs to be restored. The ghostly voice of The Entity appears and takes him up on the offer as he is pulled towards the metal planet of Unicron. He offers Megatron great power in servitude to him which the broken leader accepts. Megatron is bathed in light and rebuilt into the new form of Galvatron. The Entity sends him to Cybertron to convert all Decepticons.

 As Optimus dies he names Magnus as his successor. Magnus is given the Matrix -a tiny, glowing version of Prime and becomes Ultra Magnus. Magnus' first order is for the Autobots to develop a defense system to protect Earth for when the Decepticons return. The Decepticons are still fighting when a ray of light appears over them. Galvatron appears before them and tells them he is the reborn Megatron and they will now serve the Entity. He bathes them in light, turning them into servants of the Entity. The light begins covering all of Cybertron and transforming the entire populace into soldiers. At the Entity's command they fly off to attack Earth. As they leave Cybertron begins to collapse and the planet Unicron devores it, growing larger as it does. Galvatron silently vows to avenge his planet.

 The Autobots begin work on the Recontour Shield. Suddenly, Teletraan 1 reports that Cybertron has been destroyed. Then an invading force of Decepticons appear and attack the Autobots. Magnus raises the shields which briefly hold off the invaders. A furious Galvatron calls green lightning down from the sky which destroys the shield. The Autobots retreat as the Decepticons melt the mountain. At the same time a separate attack has destroyed the space cruisers being built at the steel mill. Sometime later a "Sweep Party" scours through the remains of the base. Rusty watches as they move on and goes back to the hidden camp in a ravine. Magnus finds that the Decepticons are drawing power from the Shadow Nebula in space. Arcee then announces that they have 96 hours until Earth is destroyed to everyone's horror. Thanks to a Sky Spy they've found out that they plan to cover Earth in an energy cage and drain its power. Tanker and Hot Rod are sent to find new recruits while they complete work on the only surviving cruiser. As they leave the Sweeps find the base and Magnus sets up a diversion. Hound creates a holographic army which distracts them long enough to escape by raft. 

 In the desert Hot Rod and Tanker find Springer being ambushed by Decepticon jets. It seems they have him until Springer turns the tide by jumping around which causes their fire to hit each other, melting them together. Reunited, Springer tells them where to find more warriors. Heading to an oil refinery which hasn't yet been overrun they see a swarm of Insecticons overhead.  A fight ensues as they rush to the refinery. They are overwhelmed until the Dinobots appear and destroy them with their fire breath. At the refinery they meet Mentlar, a scientist that has created an "Immuno Stabilizer Field" which temporarily depowers the Entity's troops. Unfortunately they have already started to gain immunity to this. Leaving to reunite with Magnus, they run into Blurr, an ultra fast but slow talking Autobot. 

 Later at the Arctic, Galvatron's forces pick up the Autobots' signal as they attempt to launch the cruiser. Due lack of space the Dinobots, Tanker and Hot Rod will have to ride on the outside of the ship. As they melt their way into the base Magnus initiates the launch. The Decepticons continue to fire and follow them into space. The Autobots are nearly trapped in the energy draining cage but Magnus’ piloting skills allows him to doge it at the last second while the Deceptions fly into the trap. As they fall back to Earth, The Entity appears and mocks Galvatron’s failure before granting him a new "aircraft carrier" spaceship. 

On the cruiser, the humans try out Mentlar's new invention- the Exo-Suit, a "METAL CAGE-LIKE OUTFIT" that grants users increased speed and strength. Suddenly, the Decepticon ship appears and fires on them. The group outside splits off and heads to a nearby asteroid to draw fire. Soundwave ejects Laserbeak to follow them. Mentlar comes up with a plan to detonate "Photon Flares" to make it look like the ship was destroyed.  Galavtron briefly senses Optimus Prime's essence in Magnus. As the ship lands the Autobots hurry to find Hot Rod and Tanker before the Decepitcons realise what happened unaware Laserbeak has already seen them. Picking up their signal on a volcano-filled ridge they are attacked by the Decepticon fleet. The ensuing fight is interpreted by a sudden "Galactic Warp Hurricane" which threatens to tear the asteroid apart. Thundercracker and Hook detonate explosives that blast Hot Rod and Tanker into space. The Decepticon ship is destroyed in the storm burying them in debris, Galvatron believing his enemies have been destroyed. The Autobots retreat back to the cruiser as they head to the Shadow Nebula. 

 Hot Rod and Tanker land on an asteroid in a sequence which is more or less the same as the final film so we're skimming over it. In fact most of the Quintesson parts are similar. The cruiser crashes on the Planet Unicorn's moon.  Back on Earth, Arcee and Wheeljack lead the other Autobots against the Decepticon Jets, trapping them by collapsing a freeway on them. Galavtron insults Starscream for his failures until The Entity demands they head to his planet to deal with the intruders. While the other repair the ship Mentlar surveys the surroundings finding a crystal scale which he takes as a specimen. Electricity flows from this scale into space as The Entity senses intruders. 

Hot Rod and Tanker have been taken by the Sharkticons to their psychic masters the Quintessons. Prisoner Granix, a rock robot explains their cruel nature before he is put on trial and made to fight to the death. As they watch him being devoured, Hot Rod thinks of a plan. Examining the scale Mentlar realizes that it is part of the same organism that the Decepticons have been drawing power from. Galvatron leads the Decepticons to the moon, destroying what turns out to be "Robotic Doubles" "two-dimensional cut outs" of the Autobots (Really). From a nearby mountain, Magnus leads Blurr and Mentlar in a suicide charge to try and give the other time to escape.

Thanks to the Dinobots, Hot Rod and Tanker escaped from the Quintessons. Hot Rod forces their leader to use his mind scan to find his friends. It projects a holographic map which shows the moon of Unicron. They fly off into space. The Autobots detonate bombs on the mountain causing a landslide that buries the Decepticons in rubble yet again. As Galavtron returns with more troops, Magnus begins his desperate last stand. In a fog bank Springer and the humans run into the Junkions who capture them. Back at mountain Mentlar is already dead and Blurr is killed in an explosion that takes three troops with him.  A heavily wounded Magnus fights on. Galavtron fires on him, finally killing him and then cuts Optimus’ Matrix out of him with a razor saw. With this he vows to destroy the Entity.Galvatron threatens to blow up The Entity if he doesn't release him from servitude to which it just laughs. To this he detonates a bomb. 

 In a Junkion village their leader Wreck-Gar calls for silence as the prisoners are tied to stakes. As they close in, Hot Rod and Tanker arrive and …. do something. We don't know what, that page of the script is missing. Probably the universal greeting.  With everyone now allies, Wreck-Gar explains how his people have always fought the Entity hiding from it in the Veil of Fog. He takes them to an ancient computer containing the Junkions history. Ellen is able to decipher the data and realizes that the ancient Junkions created the Entity as their protector. (Yes, you read that right.) However it was corrupted by greed. Now the Decepticons have absorbed enough energy for the planet to break free of its orbit. But they also discover its one weakness located.... somewhere that page of the script is also missing.

 Unicron wasn't damaged and the planet rises up around Galavatron. The Entity reveals that it and Unicron are one in the same as it turns into a giant robot. At last free the Entity leaves to devour Earth. The Autobots land on the creature's throat and follow a channel the schematics say will lead them to its core. Inside they find that the only entrance is so small that only Daniel can fit. Hot Rod suddenly gains an aura and realizes that the Matrix can destroy The Entity. As the Entity reaches Earth, Hot Rod tries to convince Galvatron to help him destroy Unicron. He responds by trying to kill him with a Laser Knife. Trying to lure Galvatron back to the entrance of the core, Hot Rod is nearly killed trying to grab the Matrix. He is only saved when Ellen shows up and knocks him over with her Exo-Suit, allowing Hot Rod to take it. Hot Rod races back to Daniel and he leaps into the core. The Matrix floods the room with light as Daniel is thrown out of the hole into his mothers arms. Galvatron is swept into space. As the Entity is torn apart the voice of Optimus tells it all evil shall be destroyed. Earth's energy is returned as the Autobots hold a parade for their new heroes.  

Cast

Autobots

• Magnus -  Initially just Magnus but becomes Ultra Magnus when granted the Matrix. A large Autobot with distinctive headgear. Optimus Prime's never before seen old friend. Doesn't seem to change after becoming Ultra. The script suggests that he turn into something like a "HARVESTER WITH THRESER BLADES or GASOLINE TRUCK WITH HUGE BATTERING RAM TYPE BUMPERS." It’s unclear if Hasbro had decided on releasing a repainted Powered Convoy at this point or just hadn't told Friedmen this would be the case. Overall has a similar role in the final film apart from staying dead.
• Tanker- An old one-eyed battle hardened Autobot soldier. Turns into a Sherman Tank. Pretty much Kup in all but name and appearance.
• Hot Rod-  Described as "a Luke Skywalker-young-man-on-the brink-of manhood sort of Autobot".Not futuristic car but a "souped up, cut down "Hot Rod" version of, say, a Camaro". Still responsible for Optimus' death , something he blames himself for. Never becomes Rodimus Prime.
• Arcee- An Autobot nurse. Part of a terrible running gag with Wheeljack where despite being a competent soldier and saving him various times she is constantly berated for being a "shebot". He does apologise for this at the end though. The script doesn't describe what her alt mode is despite transforming at one point.
• Rails- A giant triple changing snake that can turn into an old fashioned freight train and ultra tech future train. Can also breathe fire and shoot lasers from his eyes. It would seem that this character was meant to be an early version of Astrotrain who was originally meant to be an Autobot. Friedman may have simply been told to include an "Autobot triple changer train" in the script and based on that limited description created Rails. (bob's notes) If this is the case it would explain why he was removed, it promoted a toy that didn't exist.
• Springer- Not a triple changer yet and based on Arnold Schwartzenegger as opposed to Harrison Ford. Described as muscular. Can still jump around to defeat enemies with deadly results.  Jumps with a SPROOONG sound. Seriously. Alt mode is suggested to be a "JET POWERED STEAM ROLLER " "or a "MOBILE MISSLE LAUNCHER". First seen sparring with Mirage and Blustreak at headquarters. His personality would be switched with that of Rusty Steel in the second draft.
• Chemico- "A walking laboratory" with "CLEAR GLASS TUBES AND INTERLACING GLASS PIPING in his torso" who shows up briefly to create a smokescreen to allow the Autobots to retreat from the Decepticons. It is clear from the description given that Friedman simply needed to have the heroes escape and created Chemico on the spot to allow that to happen.
• Mentlar- A Carl Sagan style scientist with a large head and "ALPHA-WAVE.STYLE HEADGEAR". Has long delicate fingers. Turns into a RADAR DISH TRUCK. Replaced with Perceptor in the second draft, Friedman may have been told to include an Autobot Scientist, the description given to the then unnamed toy in a briefing document. (Bob's notes)
• Blurr- Still fast but in contrast to that talks slow like Jimmy Stewart whoever that is. Transforms into a  "LAND SPEED RECORD HOLDING ROCKET CAR." Like in the final film he doesn't do much.

Humans

• Colonel Blaze-A General Patton type with a streak of white hair. Later, helps Arcee and Wheeljack defend Earth from the Entity's forces.
• Rusty Steel- A "Green Beret type Colonel . Described as Indiana Jones in that he makes quips but is capable in danger.  His personality would be applied to Springer in later drafts after being cut. Idolized by Danial but mostly distrusted by the boy's mother. 
• Daniel Prentiss- A 12 year old who views Rusty as his idol. He's not his son (his father is mentioned at one point) he just really looks up to him.  Totally saves the day at the end. The only human to make it into the final cut. Not Spike's son yet. In fact Spike doesn't appear in the draft at all. Gives Rusty his fathers lucky silver dollar which is completely irrelevant despite all the build up.
• Ellen Prentiss- A computer scientist. Daniel's mother. Doesn't trust Rusty at first but learns too over the course of the film. Initially can't transform her Exo-Suit but manages at the end saving the day. She totally saves Earth as well.

Decepticons

• Galvatron- Still a reformatted Megatron. Described as being a larger version of Megatron and coated in scales like those that cover the planet Unicron. Given the new insignia of the Entity. His alt mode is still a self propelled laser cannon. 
• Sweep party- a group of identical, emotionless "BLACK CLAD "GESTAPO" Decepticons. Turn into "HISSING BLACK VEHICLES", which are explicitly said to be land vehicles. True to their name they perform sweeps of an area to find surviving Autobots and destroy them. This descriptive title would become their actual name in the second draft.

The Entity

• The Entity/ Planet Unicron - A ghostly voice that is "The Absorber of Unicron" who rebuilds Megatron. Takes him to the hellish planet of Unicron which is covered in steel trees and grass (which is revealed to be his hair in robot mode). Is also covered in scales which his servants share. The two are revealed to be the same creature at the end. Originally created by the ancient Junkions as a protector it was corrupted by power. Becomes larger the more energy is absorbed. His origin would be removed in the second draft but the twist of being the same being would remain.

The Quintessons

• Quintessons- Have a similar role to the final version. Their appearance is what changed. Still 5 faced but they have slender bodies that are too small for their massive heads. Described as having psychic abilities. At one point one of them uses telekinesis to create more Shakticons from scrap. Their powers would be removed but their appearance would remain into the second draft.
• Sharkticons-

Junkions

• Junkions- A tribe of robot Road Warrior Hell's Angels made of rusty and disused metal. Long ago they created The Entity as their protector before it became corrupted. Generations later they live hidden from it in the Veil of Fog. Don't talk TV yet. That bit where one is blown up and reassembles himself is still here.
• Wreck-Gar- The Junkion leader, wears a Nazi helmet. Turns into a motorcycle.
• Scrapo- A massive Junkion that befriends the Dinobots. Fascinated with "shebots" (unsure of full context, this follows from a scene on missing script page) Grimlock tells him Wheeljack will build a "Dino Girl" for him. The role of Dinobots pal would later be given to Wheelie.

Rejection

  We only have a broad idea of what happened after this script was submitted. Hasbro wasn't happy with it. Any specific reasons for this are unknown.  Friedman claims it was because he made the villain too interesting. He was still paid for this draft. Trying to fix the script they give a copy to story editor Flint Dille and tell him to rework it. Dille ultimately deems the script to be incoherent. With the creative director Jay Bacal he begins work on a new script based in part on Freidman's. This script The Secret of Cybertron is written in a week. It is also rejected. Ultimately on the 28th March, Hasbro goes back to Friedman and gives him a new outline and character list essentially telling him to start over. The resulting draft would go on to form the basis of film we know today though it's still very different.

What Changed

Unsurprisingly for a first draft many plot points would change in later revisions. Major story changes include:*The script takes place in the present day. The move to the future that would be mandated by Hasbro.

• Various scenes of characters running from place to place were streamlined. For example in a 20 page sequence, Hot Rod is sent from the makeshift base to find reinforcements in the desert, runs into the Dinobots, then goes to the refinery and heads to the Artic base. In the second draft everyone is just at Autobot city.  
• The script opens on Earth, not Cybertron and its moons.
• No Autobot City yet, just the steel mill and the later attack on Headquarters.  
• All the human characters except Daniel were cut.
• Optimus is the only named character from the show to die. Everyone else seemingly survives.
• The Matrix is basically Optimus' soul. It's a tiny glowing version of him. Galvatron puts it in a jar.
• Cybertron is destroyed by Unicron, with 160 pages left. He spends the rest of the script trying to destroy Earth. In the second draft onwards he attempts to destroy Cybertron in the climax. 
• The energy cage would be dropped. In the final film Unicron doesn't need to absorb energy.
• The fight on the asteroid would be cut.
• The Autobots that remain on Earth try to launch a counter attack on the Decepticons. This remains into the second draft.
• Galvatron kills Magnus, Mentlar and Blurr. They stay dead. No being rebuilt by the Junkions.
• Unicron's origin was dropped as is his connection to the Junkions.
• Daniel is the one that uses the Matrix to save the day.

Other differences:

• Characters like Cyclonus, Scourge and Wheelie don't exist yet.
• Magnus only becomes Ultra Magnus when he gains the Matrix.  
• Hot Rod never becomes Rodimus Prime. It's possible Hasbro hadn't come up with that aspect of the character yet. 
• Spike doesn't appear in this or the second draft at all.
• The twist that The Entity and planet Unicron are the same creature would be removed in the final movie
• The Dinobots only have three members: Grimlock, Sludge and Swoop.
• Lithone isn't seen only mentioned briefly by Granix, he came to the Quintesson asteroid on a research expedition.

What Stayed the same

This is a much shorter category.

• The Optimus And Megatron fight is nearly identical down to having some of the same dialogue.
• Most of the Quintesson scenes are similar.

This script was written in 1984

Some of the oddness of this script comes from it being written this early in the Transformers brand's existence. With only the first season to draw on many aspects of the Transformers mythos we know today didn't exist yet.

• Being massively outnumbered by the Autobots the script features many generic Decepticons to pad the ranks.
• The only 1985 characters to appear are Thrust, Dirge and Ramjet.
• The lackluster opening steel mill attack makes more sense when you consider most season 1 episodes opened with the Decepticons raiding a power plant, factory or construction site. 
• Hasbro almost certainly hadn't determined the movie characters' designs at this point, hence why Friedman has to suggest what they turn into at various points.  
• Autobot headquarters is called Crater Mountain, a name used in scripts for the first season that didn't make it into any of the final episodes.
• Scrapper is still called by his preliminary name Gravedigger.