Meet Ballpoint!

From MediaWiki
Revision as of 10:12, 10 July 2025 by AutoDecept (talk | contribs)
Jump to navigationJump to search
Transformers: Worst Bot Ever

“You don’t understand! I was gonna write ‘mightier than the sword’ at the end, honest!”
Meet Ballpoint!
Publisher Image Comics
Skybound Comet
First published July 9, 2025
Written by Brian "Smitty" Smith
Pencils by Marz Jr.
Colors by Marz Jr.
Letters by Marz Jr.
Editor Alex Antone
Continuity Generation 1 continuity family

After being kicked out of the Decepticons, Ballpoint decides to win their favor by destroying all the Autobots single-handedly.

Synopsis

Chapter 1

Cybertron. Home of the Transformers. The Autobots and Decepticons have been engaged in war over the planet's Energon reserves for centuries. And the Decepticon war effort is running smoothly thanks entirely to Ballpoint, "The PEN who's mightier than the SWORD!" He's an incredible fighter, spy, tactician, pilot, mechanic, and Megatron's best friend. When the Autobots departed Cybertron aboard the Ark, the Decepticons followed and boarded the vessel, before crash landing on Earth. It was Ballpoint who brought everyone back online, with the other Decepticons singing his praises all along the way...

Ballpoint's story to his best friend, the blender, is interrupted by Starscream, who sneeringly informs Ballpoint and "Smoothie" that not only is none of that true, they didn't even know Ballpoint was aboard the Nemesis when they departed Cybertron. Their discussion is interrupted once more by an announcement over the loudspeaker: Megatron is about to give a briefing. The Decepticons assemble in the throne room, with Starscream taking from Ballpoint the report on the solar farm they're about to raid, warning the diminuitive Decepticon that he better not have messed it up. Shockwave rushes past, holding a piece of paper, which Ballpoint interprets as the cyclops wanting an autograph, and happily obliges. Shockwave flicks Ballpoint across the room.

Chapter 2

Megatron demands Shockwave hand over his report on Autobot activity near their target, but finds it illegible due to Ballpoint autographing over it. Starscream seizes the opportunity to suck up to his leader, and proudly inserts the Floppy disk Ballpoint compiled for him. To everyone's horror, it begins playing a homemade music video featuring Ballpoint's sick moves. Megatron declares everyone incompetent, but reveals he anticipated this and gathered all the intel himself. The Decepticons all hitch a ride on Starscream (plus Laserbeak grabs Gnaw) and depart for the solar farm.

Arriving, Ballpoint asks Megatron what his assignment is. Megatron, unsure who Ballpoint is, asks Shockwave if he's capable. The answer is no, so Megatron orders Shockwave to kill him if he gets in the way. Shockwave tells Ballpoint to monitor the energy output and keep lookout for those pesky Autobots.

As the Decepticons siphon Energon from the solar farm, Ballpoint begins telling his story to the computer display he's been tasked with watching, and gets so engrossed in it that he completely fails to notice the Autobots arriving. The Autobots thoroughly trounce the Decepticons, with Optimus Prime in particular plowing into Megatron as Starscream leaps out of the way. Megatron orders a retreat, at which point our hero finally notices what's going on and joins his brethren in running away.

Chapter 3

Back at Decepticon headquarters, Ballpoint spins a tall tale about how he was busy trouncing bigger and stronger Autobots, and it's really only thanks to him that they got out of there. This time, Starscream calls Ballpoint on his BS in front of everyone, which angers the rank and file. While Starscream is pontificating about how unacceptable it is that Megatron was injured, the Decepticon leader himself enters and dresses down Starscream for his role in one of said injuries. Megatron orders Starscream to fetch him an Energon shake, and the Seeker scrambles away. Megatron then angrily questions why his minions keep failing him. All present unanimously point their fingers at...Ballpoint. Megatron seethes with anger, knocking the Energon shake out of Starscream's hands — and more importantly, Smoothie the blender, whose "death" Ballpoint mourns. Megatron, sick of the tiny bot, banishes him from the Decepticon ranks, having him thrown out to the curb with the rest of the garbage. Ballpoint brainstorms ways to get himself back in Megatron's good graces, and hits upon the idea to destroy all the Autobots by himself. Great plan!

Chapter 4

At the crash site of the Ark, the Autobots celebrate and recuperate from their latest victory. Prime laments the need for violence, Bumblebee gets repairs from Wheeljack, the LamBros trash-talk each other, and Jazz tries desperately to get someone to laugh at an epic quip he made during the battle. To get away from Jazz, Prowl runs off to relieve Elita-1 from watch duty. As Prowl settles in, Ballpoint tries to figure out a way to distract him, settling on ordering a whole stack of pizzas. While Prowl argues with the pizza guy, Ballpoint sneaks into the Ark, using his alternate mode to gain access to Wheeljack's office. Ballpoint first decides to try turning the Autobots against each other by leaving a fake note. Wheeljack's just happy someone fixed the printer! Next, he tries to beat up Brawn, but the Minibot doesn't even notice his attacker. After being nonchalantly stepped on by Optimus Prime, Ballpoint realizes this isn't working, and turns to psychological warfare.

Chapter 5

First, Ballpoint sneaks into Sunstreaker and Sideswipe's room and doodles mustaches and the like on their faces. They just think it's hilarious and walk into the halls laughing. Ballpoint decides enough is enough, he's going to take out the leader. He sneaks into Optimus' office and pretends to be a dentist, offering the Prime a cleaning. Prime points out that Cybertronians don't have teeth, and he himself might not even have a mouth. At that, Ballpoint gives up and comes clean, explaining who he is and why he's here. He begs not to be destroyed, only for Optimus to praise him for his bravery and offer him a chance to join them as the Decepticons begin an assault on the Ark.

Chapter 6

As Prime gears up to face Megatron, he tosses Ballpoint to Bumblebee and orders them to stop Starscream from destroying the Ark. Ballpoint freaks out, believing the two of them can't possibly stand a chance against the Air Commander. Bumblebee quickly proves his new ally wrong; by grabbing onto Starscream's wing, the seeker loses his stability and begins falling to the ground. Bumblebee jumps off at the last second, but Ballpoint doesn't react in time; bouncing along with Starscream until he's thrown off and lands right between Optimus Prime and Megatron! Megatron stands triumphant over his eternal foe, and sees an opportunity: he orders Ballpoint (calling him "Felt-Tip") to finish off Prime, wanting the irony of Prime falling to the weakest and most worthless Decepticon. Prime nods to Ballpoint, giving him the courage he needs to do the right thing. He clambers up Megatron and squirts ink all over his eyes, enabling Prime to get up and send Megatron careening trough the air. Megatron wearily orders a retreat. As the defeated Decepticons fly off, the Autobots all praise Ballpoint for his contributions, with Prime giving him a brand-new Autobot Insignia.

Optimus suggests Jazz give him a tour; after bonding over Jazz's hilarious battle quips, he spots an old friend: Smoothie! Ecstatic that his old friend survived and is also an Autobot now, he runs over and hugs the Autobot's blender, to the confusion of Jazz and Bumblebee.

Back at the Decepticon base, Megatron paces angrily in front of his troops, unaware that Ballpoint has written "Space Farts" on his butt.

(Numbers indicate order of appearance.)

Autobots Decepticons Others

Quotes

"The PEN who's mightier than the SWORD! I totally coined that phrase, BTW...100% copyright Ballpoint."

—Guess who


"Wow! BALLPOINT, you are like SUPER SMART...and unbelievably BRAVE...I hear you're a FANTASTIC dancer, too!

—Imaginary Starscream


NEVER compare yourself to me again, WORM. We didn't even know YOU were on BOARD when we left Cybertron!"

—Actual Starscream


"SQUAWK! MEGATRON IS A MEGA LOSER! SQUAWK!"

Laserbeak parroting Starscream


"Perhaps you could wear name tags?"

—Even Soundwave has trouble with FIRRIB.


Bumblebee: "Can you check this out for me? I think I SPRAINED my ANKLE."
Wheeljack: "Wish I could help you out, Bee. I'm a MECHANIC, not a MEDIC. You'll have to wait for RATCHET over there."
Bumblebee (to himself): "SERIOUSLY?!? That line will take forever! What if...?"
(Transforms to vehicle mode)
Bumblebee: "Uh... how about taking a look at my FRONT WHEEL AXLE?"
Wheeljack: "SURE THING!"


"I dunno, bro. This was a REALLY specific order. Like, HALF of these have BATTERIES on them."
"Is that even on the menu?"

—The Pizza guy argues with Prowl


"UPTIMAS PRINE STINKS! LOVE BUNDLEBEAN"

Ballpoint's planted note


"I'm DR. POINT from the dental office of DR. POINT DDS, here to discuss the state of your teeth. It seems you HAVEN'T HAD A CLEANING IN the past, let me check...SEVERAL MILLION YEARS.

—Cut Optimus Prime some slack, "Dr. Point", everyone gets behind on appointments sometimes.


"While I can't say I AGREE with your plan, I'm impressed by the BRAVERY it took to COME CLEAN. Everyone deserves a chance to shine, Ballpoint."

Optimus Prime being Optimus Prime


"I guess the kid really likes smoothies..."

Jazz watches Ballpoint "reunite" with the blender.

Notes

  • A few months before the release of this graphic novel, Skybound Entertainment released the first chapter in a one-shot for Free Comic Book Day.
  • Backmatter for this issue includes a "How to draw" segment of, naturally, Ballpoint (narrated by stylized Autobot and Decepticon insignias referred to as 'Aurora' and 'Steve', respectively), a model sheet of (most) of the characters appearing in the book, an "About the Authors" section, and a reading guide with some critical thinking questions for the youngins.

Transformers references

  • Overall, this graphic novel is a loving tribute to the original cartoon, featuring many themes from and nods to it throughout the whole story. It's deliberately goofy and campy and the action scenes are filled with cheesy quips, but more specifically:
    • The basic backstory of the Ark's departure, crash, and lengthy slumber period, of course, isn't unique to the cartoon, but the stock-plot style Decepticon scheme to raid a solar farm to convert into Energon is typical of a G1 cartoon episode.
    • The Decepticons explicitly all having to hitch a ride on Starscream and Laserbeak feels kind of like an anti-reference — in the cartoon, all Decepticons could fly in robot mode, which is evidently not the case here. The specific way this is called out feels very deliberate.
    • The Decepticon base is portrayed as a big, honkin' Decepticon insignia, much like their temporary base in the episode Enter the Nightbird.
    • Optimus Prime is portrayed less like the stoic demigod he's become in the 21st century and more like the friendly fatherly figure that his original cartoon counterpart was.
    • Mirage turns invisible in the same way as the cartoon, creating a glowy cube around himself that makes him dissapear.
    • The pizza guy is dressed in the same hard hat, tan shirt, and blue pants as Spike and Sparkplug (and every other background human) in the cartoon (though the pizza guy does not sport the yellow boots that would complete the outfit).
    • Bumblebee (tries) to sing along to music playing on his headphones; first singing "You got the clutch!" and then later "Dare to be brainless!" He's, of course, listening to The Touch and Dare to Be Stupid, both featured in the movie.
    • Optimus Prime's trailer vanishes when he turns to robot mode, and comes out of nowhere when going back to vehicle mode.
  • Prowl is decked out in his Marvel color scheme, with blue trim instead of his usual black.
  • In past stories, Laserbeak has been portrayed as both an intelligent, talking bot, and a squawking, feral animal. This comic splits the difference, and makes him into basically a parrot.
  • The comic makes a toungue-in-cheek reference to FIRRIB, portraying Soundwave as unable to tell them apart! (For the record, the cassettes make it clear that for this continuity, Rumble is the blue one while Frenzy is red.)
  • Energon is shown to be blue, as it was portrayed in most media of the 2010s.
  • Elita-1 appears to take design cues from her EarthSpark counterpart.

Real-world references

  • Fans have often used "LamBros" as an informal term for Sunstreaker and Sideswipe, but this is the first time that term has been used in-fiction, with the brothers having pasted "LAMbros 4EVA" on the door to their quarters.
  • Brawn reads a workout magazine called "Muscle Bodies" that features G.I. Joe characters Roadblock and Lady Jaye on the front and back covers, respectively. The magazine even says "G.I. Joe" on the corner!

Trivia

  • Both Autobot and Decepticon headquarters have great big posters hanging up. The Autobot base's posters are largely motivational-type, while the Decepticon base is decorated with Megatron's athletic accolades (he was apparently Cybertron's world champion thumb wrestler, 1986).
  • The Ancient Autobot on Shockwave's paper (or what's legible of it) is just a bunch of random letters.
  • The character model sheet in the back includes Jetfire and Cliffjumper, neither of whom appear in the story, and omit Silverbolt, Blurr, Sunstreaker and Sideswipe, all of whom do appear.