Swerve's

"An Autobot walks into a bar..."

On board the Lost Light there is always a crisis at hand, whether it's an unscheduled quantum jump, a Sparkeater loose amongst the crew or something horrible in the basement. With all this going on, Swerve's, named after its proprietor, is a place for the crew to get away from it all and unwind with a glass of engex.

No guns, no swords, no briefcasesSign at Swerve's, "House of Ambus"

Fiction

2005 IDW continuity

Swerve's bar was originally the canteen of Unitrex 1, "the ship that never sailed" and which disappeared five million years ago. No Guns, No Swords, No Briefcases In the present day, Skids and Swerve found themselves assigned the canteen as their quarters after the Lost Light went into lockdown because of the Sparkeater loose aboard the ship. While Skids concerned himself with escaping, Swerve was delighted to find an engex distillery and decided to live out his and Blurr's pre-war dream of opening a bar. The Chaos of Warm Things He held a "grand secret opening" shortly afterwards, which was well-attended. No Guns, No Swords, No Briefcases

Sometime before its official opening, Ratchet visited the bar, which was doing a brisk trade. He asked if Ultra Magnus or Rodimus knew about the bar, but Swerve assured him that it would be fine. Life After the Big Bang The bar was still open when Ratchet returned from Delphi with First Aid and Ambulon, although the ship's security officer Red Alert had apparently taken an interest in it. No Guns, No Swords, No Briefcases Swerve was still insisting it would be fine later, as Chromedome, Skids, Pipes, Trailbreaker, Hound and Tailgate drank and played "guess the transformation noise". However, when Ultra Magnus stormed into the bar and dragged him away in restraints, Swerve discovered that it was apparently not fine. As if that wasn't enough drama for one day, Fortress Maximus walked in and shot Pipes at point blank range. Interiors

When Rewind devised a plan to repair the damaged neural connections in Rung's brain by telling him a story, he gathered together Perceptor, Blaster, Sunstreaker (and Bob), Siren and Gears in the bar but Siren's voice proved too loud for storytelling. He tried again with Atomizer, Slapdash, Sprocket, Xaaron and Dipstick but not even a bottle of "Old Corroder" could help them bring the psychiatrist out of his coma. An Intimate Beheading Rewind had also invited Red Alert to this session but circumstances meant that he would be unable to attend. No Guns, No Swords, No Briefcases Shortly after Rodimus officially re-opened the bar Rewind tried yet again with Drift, Ratchet, Chromedome, Skids and Whirl and so, with Tailgate and Swerve listening, they told a tale of intrigue and adventure on pre-war Cybertron. Post Hoc After a bottle of "Nightmare Fuel" and the shocking revelation that Orion Pax became Optimus Prime the ship's alarm began to sound and the crew were called to battle stations, but not before Skids managed to provoke a response from Rung by mispronouncing his name. An Intimate Beheading

Rodimus attended a "people you'd like to punch" theme night at Swerve's dressed as Megatron. When Thunderclash and his crew came aboard the Lost Light, Ratchet organised a welcoming party at Swerve's. Little Victories At some point, Cyclonus had a flashback to his time in the Dead Universe in the bar, and Whirl also went on a bit of a rampage some night after drinking one too many Berzerker Buttons. House of Ambus When Overlord was let loose aboard the ship, Hoist turned Swerve's into a triage station where he attempted to treat the fatally wounded Tripodeca. No Guns, No Swords, No Briefcases

Welcome to Swerve's, where the shots are free.

Following Rodimus's refusal to take Swerve to the recently rediscovered Luna 1, pointing out that he spent all his time on board the Lost Light being a bartender rather than a metallurgist, Swerve decided to close the bar and was in the process of packing it up when he was surprised by the sudden appearance of a Legislator. The Fecund Moon Despite Swerve pointing out the bar's policy on dangerous weapons, the giant golden robot merely quoted "seventeen twenty-one" at him and proceeded to shoot up the place with his enormous multi-revolving-barrelled machine gun. In response, Swerve dived behind the bar and activated the security systems that Brainstorm had installed for him.

The Legislator was stunned by the resulting volley of fire and Swerve did not hesitate to follow up his advantage by whipping out his My First Blaster™, another gift from Brainstorm, announcing that he was excluding someone from his premises for the first time in his career and blasting the "Guardian copycat" out of the bar. House of Ambus

Upon returning from Luna 1 where he discovered a cure for cybercrosis and saved Tailgate's life, Swerve was able to reconcile being both a metallurgist and a bartender and decided to re-open the bar. The Sound of Breaking Glass A group of Autobots including Hound, Gears, Fortress Maximus, Sunstreaker, Bob, Blaster, Jackpot, Powerglide, Doubletap and Brawn helped him rebuild. No Guns, No Swords, No Briefcases The grand reopening was well attended, though Rodimus was not present. This Calamitous Life Swerve was later delighted when Rodimus held an informal meeting with Orion Pax and Ultra Magnus in his bar, going so far as to take a picture for posterity. Black Metal

After the Lost Light returned to Cybertron where the crew helped defeat the Necrotitan, the united Autobots and Decepticons held a victory celebration at Swerve's. To the bartender's great delight, Blurr attended, though neither he nor Crosscut could remember who Swerve was. The Becoming Before leaving Cybertron, Crosscut took prospective new crewmembers Riptide, Nautica, Mirage and Nightbeat on a tour of the Lost Light, pointing out Swerve's as the heart of the ship. No Guns, No Swords, No Briefcases

Following the Lost Light's relaunch, Swerve began employing a reprogrammed Legislator named Ten as a bouncer. Words Hang in the Air The bar also began hosting regular movie nights, thanks to a collection of Earth films that the new entertainments officer Bluestreak had brought on board. Predestination: A Beginner's Guide Trailbreaker, Skids, Nautica and Riptide were drinking and reading the Lost Light Insider at Swerve's when Trailbreaker talked himself into breaking into the medbay to steal some of Megatron's "superfuel". Words Hang in the Air Not long afterwards, Bluestreak showed the film Zulu and Tailgate and Getaway shared a drink there, before the bar—and indeed the Lost Light itself—winked out of existence. Predestination: A Beginner's Guide

At some point before the Lost Light and the bar itself disappeared (for complicated reasons that involved an alternate version of the ship where Swerve's bar never existed, being Crosscut's theatre instead) Atomizer settled his tab.

Back on the returned Lost Light, after an unfortunate run-in with quantum mechanics came to an end, Brainstorm squeezed his way through the crowd of revellers at Swerve's, sitting down to next to Atomizer. Over Atomizer's protests, Brainstorm broke the rules of the bar by undoing the clasps on his briefcase and opening it... and everyone in the bar except him suddenly collapsed. The Road Not Taken An investigation revealed that Brainstorm had poisoned the engex supply, but there were no fatalities as Swerve had been watering down the drinks to begin with. The Custom-Made Now Following the subsequent rollicking time travel adventure during which they both saved and created history as they knew it, the crew celebrated by watching Back to the Future Part II at Swerve's. Predestination: A Beginner's Guide

When Mirage opened a competing bar aboard the Lost Light called "Visages", custom at Swerve's dropped right off—partially due to the mass poisoning incident but mainly to do with his watering down the drinks. However, after Megatron gave a poetry reading at "Visages", business returned to normal at the bar. Our Steps Will Always Rhyme

The Autobots held an awesome Earth music party at Swerve's! The eponymous bartender judged the dance competition. The Frail Gaze The One Where They Go to Earth

After Getaway and his ilk exiled Megatron, Rodimus, Swerve, and a large part of the ship's crew, the main center of relaxation was changed to "Visages". As the returned Protectobots would soon discover, the old bar was shuttered, locked, and converted to a truly grotesque scene - it had been decorated with brain modules, torn from their bodies but still attached to their spinal columns and adorned with teeth marks, the sick means of payment that the escapologist was using to keep Sunder in check. Full Circle Filling in the Blanks

After the Lost Light was reclaimed and its crew's quest ended, they threw one last party in Swerve's that was abruptly cut short when the decommissioning of the ship began in the middle of the revelry. Swerve eventually established Swerve's as a franchise across New Cybertron, opening up 113 locations across the planet. By the time Ratchet had passed however, the business had gone under, with only one location remaining open. How To Say Goodbye And Mean It: Part 2

Universal Studios

In 2021, Universal Studios Beijing's Transformers Metrobase opened with a Swerve's Lounge canteen. (James Roberts and Nick Roche were understandably gobsmacked to learn about this)

Boasting the "Best Drinks since the Last Light" on its sign and featuring an Evergreen-styled design for the character, Swerve's is described as a repurposed Sat-Comm Center free from the prying eyes of Optimus Prime. A lighting fixture within the Lounge resembles the Matrix of Leadership.

Notes

• In "The Chaos of Warm Things" Swerve mentions that he and Blurr used to talk about opening a bar. Though this later proves to be something of an exaggeration on his part, in IDW's concurrent title Robots in Disguise Blurr has reopened Maccadam's Old Oil House.
• James Roberts compares the bar to bars and "the kitchen" in soap operas, where most of the drama will stereotypically happen. Alex Milne designed the bar with a large table (requested in script) that could retract and be replaced with smaller tables, and added in a serving plate with energon goodies as well as drinks: "nice, relaxed, casual atmosphere... kind of like what they were used to in the olden days".