Furmanism

"Rhythms of Darkness!": A Furmanism in every bite!

Transformers writer Simon Furman is infamous among fans for dialogue concepts that are frequently retrod. Such repeated phrases are known informally as Furmanisms.

Various Furmanisms

A SHORT, SHARP LESSON

• "You will find the nerve center of this bunker and shut DOWN its defenses...while I teach these Mini-Cons a short, sharp LESSON in discipline!" —Megatron, "Fortress, Part 3"
• "Think of it, Optimus Prime...as a short, SHARP lesson." —Megatron again, "Multiplicity, Pt. 2"
• "YOU-- need a short, SHARP lesson, Decepticon!" —Brawn, "The Age of Wrath Pt.2"
• "A Short, Sharp Lesson!" —title of main story in Transformers Comic issue 2.21

A WHOLE WORLD OF PAIN!

• "Below the surface of the Transformers' homeworld, below Cybertron's long-disused sewer system, there is... Underworld. A world of towering, twisted metal screaming at shadows that writhe in unholy silence embracing the unwary in circuit-chilling tendrils of mist. A WHOLE WORLD OF PAIN AND HURT." —Narrator, "Underworld!"
• "Get ready, quite literally... for a whole WORLD of pain!" —Starscream, "Dark Shadows!"
• "It's about PAIN, Megatron... here's a whole WORLD of it!" —Starscream again, The War Within #3
• "Somewhere else...a world of PAIN." —Narration, "Abduction"
• "I see a frightened little girl...in a world of hurt and pain." —Social worker in reference to Verity Carlo, Infiltration #4
• "DINOBOT MONTH! And Grimlock wishes it wasn't! His quest for a means to restore his ability to change modes takes him to Nebulos—where an incendiary welcome awaits him. Plus, Kup and the Wreckers find themselves hunted and in a whole world of pain—literally!" —Slightly tongue-in-cheek solicit for Regeneration One issue #82.

ALL THE DIRTY JOBS

• "ALL THE DIRTY JOBS..." —Nightbeat, "...All This and Civil War 2"
• "HH. All the DIRTY JOBS..." —Kup, The War Within #4
• "Feh...all the dirty jobs!" —Rampage, The Gathering #3
• "All the dirty jobs..." —Red Alert, "Natural Selection, Part One"

CAN I DO LESS?

• "NO! While I function I will do everything in my power to thwart you. As an Autobot I can do no less!" —Ultra Magnus, "Target: 2006"
• "As long as life remains in me, I will do everything in my power to save him. I can do no less!" —Optimus Prime, "Under Fire!"
• "But both Wreck-Gar and Inferno sacrificed themselves to save me. Can I do any less than risk my life to AVENGE them?" —Smokescreen, "The Legacy of Unicron!"
• "Always lived life in the FAST LANE -- guess you DIED that way, too! Can we do any less?" —Jazz, "Life in the Slow Lane"
• "I've stood here and watched humans -- frail flesh creatures -- fight and die for their world. CAN I DO LESS?" —Jazz, "Rhythms of Darkness!"
• "You are WRONG! You were ready to sacrifice yourself to save my family. CAN I DO LESS FOR YOU?" —Jose, "A Savage Place!"
• "Kup, there's got to be another way! Ratchet sacrificed everything to save us -- can we do less?" —Sureshot, "The Pri¢e of Life!"
• "The real Scorponok wouldn't have turned and fled! He'd have accepted his responsibilities, his FATE! Can I then do less?" —Scorponok, "On the Edge of Extinction!"
• "Autobots--one last charge! Those...creatures are fighting and dying for Cybertron! Can we do less?" —Ultra Magnus rallies the troops with a (knowingly) Furmanism-filled battle cry, "Destiny, Part Five"

CANNOT, WILL NOT

• "No! Have you lost your minds? Megatron must not—cannot—die!" —Galvatron, "Target: 2006"
• "He's right, but I can't- won't surrender my prize." —Packrat after Inferno tells him to drop the Furmanite. "Ground Zero"
• "I cannot...will not...be caged!" —Blackarachnia, "Abduction"
• "Madness! I can't...won't accept that a single being did all this!" —Optimus Prime, "Worlds Collide, Part 2 of 4"
• "So many deaths, so many sparks consumed. I...I can't...won't let that happen here." —Over-Run, "Worlds Collide, Part 3 of 4"
• "No. I won't accept that. As it is, our shortsightedness has pushed Cybertron to the very brink. I can't - won't - see it destroyed." —Optimus Prime, Stormbringer #2
• "Fate — crushing, inexorable — cannot, will not... be held at bay indefinitely!" —Optimus Prime's narration, Stormbringer #4
• "And Prime, he just said to 'forget it', but I can't -- won't." —Grimlock, Spotlight: Shockwave
• "I cannot, will not stand by and see this world ravaged by our war, lest it share the inglorious fate of once-proud Cybertron." —Stockade, Transformers Comic issue 24

DIE SCREAMING

• "Infinite possibilities, a Cybertron where I seized power...and you died SCREAMING." —Obsidian, "Abduction"
• "YOU WILL ALL DIE SCREAMING, IN IGNORANCE, BLIND TO WHAT LIES BENEATH." —Rhinox, "What Lies Beneath, Part Two"
• "You can either follow my lead...or die in screaming torment." —Thunderwing, Stormbringer #1
• "Once I'm in sync with the primary Beast Wars, I'll free Megatron, and then you and EVERY Maximal on this planet...will die scream--ing?" —Ravage, The Ascending #2
• "Unless we act now, Cybertron will die screaming and Unicron will be reborn." —Ravage again, The Ascending #4
• "This world, and all on it...shall die screaming!" —The Fallen, Revenge of the Fallen #4

DOWN TO EARTH--LITERALLY!

• "Aww, did I bring the poor Autobot DOWN TO EARTH with a bump?" —Rumble, "The Gathering Darkness"
• "Let's bring these latter-generation big shots DOWN TO EARTH!" —Skydive, "Total War!"
• "Bring him DOWN TO EARTH!" —Ravage, The Ascending #3

FIGHT AND DIE

• "Better to go, to run, to try — than just sit here and wait to die!" —Wheelie flips this one on its head, "Space Pirates!"
• "Yeah. Better to FIGHT AND DIE-- than live with the knowledge that I ran!" —Jazz, "Rhythms of Darkness!"
• "We're Dinobots; we stick together, FIGHT together -- and DIE together, if necessary! Better that than live with the knowledge that we turned and ran, abandoned a comrade!" —Swoop, "Still Life!"
• "What of it? Better to die a warrior's death than endure this mockery of life!" —Crankcase, "The Fall and Rise of the Decepticon Empire."
• "Better to die a hero than live as a coward." —Narration, "Salvage!"
• "Hold still, relic... Better to stand and die than perish in ignominous flight!" —Random Generation 2 Cybertronian chasing Tracks, "Total War!"
• "For years, we fight and die...and for WHAT? To run, hide?" —Grimlock, The War Within #2
• "Autobots--one last charge! Those...creatures are fighting and dying for Cybertron! Can we do less?" —Ultra Magnus drops two Furmanisms at once, "Destiny, Part Five"

IT CAN BE HURT

• "He's not invincible! He can be hurt!" —Buster, "Robot Buster!"
• "Springer's right! If they can hurt... they can BE HURT!" —Inferno, "Survivors!"
• "This is no demon, no ghost! It is metal and circuitry! It can feel pain -- IT CAN BE HURT!" —Optimus Prime, "Skin Deep"
• "Concentrate your fire! It has FORM, it has SUBSTANCE... it can be DESTROYED!" —Mindset, "Swarm"
• "Whatever that thing is, it has mass, it has substance... IT CAN BE DESTROYED!" —Jhiaxus, "A Rage in Heaven!"
• "Ultimately, Megatron is argonized steel and polymer sinew, just like us. He can be HURT... He can be KILLED..." —Starscream, Infiltration #6

IT IS OVER -- FINISHED!

• "To be honest, CHAINCLAW-- I don't know why we're BOTHERING! The war's over -- FINISHED!" —Jazz, "Rhythms of Darkness!"
• "Step out of line, disobey my orders-- and it's over...FINISHED!" —G.B. Blackrock, "The Human Factor!"
• "Me just want this over with -- FINISHED!" —Grimlock, "The Pri¢e of Life!"
• "I'm warning you, Prime -- Interfere now and the alliance is over, FINISHED!" —Scorponok, "...All This and Civil War 2"
• "The battle is OVER, done. The victory, as such, is ours." —Optimus Prime, "The Void!"
• "Do you not understand? It's OVER -- FINISHED!" —Bludgeon, "End of the Road!"
• "And now... it is time for this mindless war to cease. It is done, finished." —the Last Autobot, "End of the Road!"
• "ENOUGH! Do you not understand, Decepticons? It is over -- FINISHED!" —Optimus Prime, "End of the Road!"
• "And suddenly, in one massive stroke - it was done, finished." —Narrating Optimus Prime, "Another Time & Place"
• "The war is over, FINISHED." —Optimus Prime "War Without End!"
• "That's ENOUGH, Kup! It's OVER -- finished! Do you HEAR me?!" —Optimus Prime, "Primal Fear!"
• "IDIOTS! INCOMPETENTS! I am surrounded by DOLTS! This should have been over, FINISHED!" —Jhiaxus, "Dark Shadows!"
• "Set charges. Minimum safety margin. I want this DONE, finished...before something ELSE tries to stop us!" —Jetfire, "Worlds Collide, Part 4 of 4"
• "Your day, such as it was, is done! Over!" —Megatron, "A Meeting of Minds"
• "Officially, hostilities are OVER, finished. Maximal-Predacon, we're one big happy family. But WE know different." —Lio Convoy, The Gathering #1
• "I'm finished. Done. Like this old ordnance, I'm ready to be stood down." —Ironhide, "Old Ways"
• "No kidding! 'It's over--finished!' He really SAID that?" —A genre-savvy generic, "Counterpoint"
• "It is over--FINISHED!" —one of Optimus Prime and Megatron's many winning lines in Transformers: Earth Wars.

IT NEVER ENDS

• "But it's not the end is it? It's NEVER the end. It just goes on and on- one battle blurring into the next." —Optimus Prime, "Under Fire!"
• "And so it ends! Though it never really ends, does it?" —Shockwave, "Time Wars"
• "It never stops, does it? One battle blurring into the next! Sometime I wonder if there'll EVER be an end to the fighting! —Override, "Kings of the Wild Frontier."
• "Okay, okay. I know I have a responsibility, a duty! But when does my contract expire? When does it end?" "It never ends, Spike." —Spike Witwicky and Fortress Maximus, "The Last Autobot?"
• "But it never ends." —Optimus Prime (opening narration), "Another Time & Place"
• "The future holds only conflict and mayhem! It never ends!" —Optimus Prime (closing narration), "Another Time & Place"
• "I wish I could share their elation, believe that is truly over. Before he died, Jhiaxus mentioned a name, a place. In my heart of hearts, I know... IT NEVER ENDS!" —Optimus Prime, "A Rage in Heaven!"
• "As one they attack, Autobots and Decepticons who fought for and against the dream, now united in the pantheon of Transformer myth. Their time, they thought, had come and gone. But some battles... NEVER END!" —Narration, "Terminus"
• "That should have been the end. That should have been ENOUGH! But no. It NEVER ends." —Optimus Primal, "Escape"
• "Even the business of running a bitter war of attrition does nothing to stave off the dark, foreboding, fracturing of my psyche. I see the end. But the shuddering, lurching instant brings scant comfort. For I know, deep down... IT NEVER ENDS!" —Optimus Prime, Stormbringer #1
• "Oh god - it never ends!" -Random civilian, Transformers Comic issue 14
• "Done? I fear, Major Lennox...it NEVER ends." —Optimus Prime, Revenge of the Fallen #1
• "I forgot...it never ends." —Optimus Prime, "Natural Selection, Part One"

LIKE SOME PREDATORY BIRD

• "Bird of Prey!" —title of Marvel US #62
• "Like some sleek, deadly bird of prey, Thunderwing dropped towards Yuss's Amprodome — a bowl-like structure housing its treasured antiquities — and dropped the thermo-charge." —"The Magnificent Six!"
• "I now believe a SECOND menace exists, one that hovers like some predatory bird at the edge of my consciousness." —Optimus Prime, "Devices and Desires!"
• "Ahead, hovering like some vast, predatory bird on the fringes of Fahl Space... the Decepticon flagship, Twilight--" —Narration, "New Dawn"
• "Like some dread bird of prey, Megatron would hang suspended in the upper atmosphere, raining lightning bolts down on enemy emplacements while his drone (ground) troopers picked off any who attempted to flee or fight back." —Description of Megatron's vehicle mode, Transformers: The Movie Guide

NEVER DID WANT TO LIVE FOREVER!

• "A mere three minutes of air left. Ah well, who wants to live forever?" —Hi-Q, "Dreadwing Down!"
• "HAH! Who wants to live forever?" —Longtooth, "Whose Lifeforce Is It Anyway?"
• "Demolishor! Oh, well... never expected to live forever!" —Smokescreen, "Worlds Collide, Part 2 of 4"
• "Thunderwing. HNH. Never DID want to live forever." —Springer, Stormbringer #2
• "Oh well... never DID want to live forever!" —Snarl, You Can Draw Transformers
• "You think? Oh well... never DID want to live forever!" —Ratchet, Transformers Comic #2

NO! YOU'RE DEAD!

• "No! Y-you were dead... I killed you!" —Thunderwing, "The Big Shutdown!"
• "No! It - it can't be you... you're dead!" —Ratchet, "Back from the Dead"
• "But he's dead! We saw him die, didn't we?" —Siren, "Assault on the Ark!"
• "But...but YOU'RE DEAD! You disappeared down-- UHHRK!" —Mindwipe, "Eye of the Storm"
• "No! I saw you die, felt your aura leave its mortal remains! You were no more!" —Bludgeon, "End of the Road!"
• "Noo! It can't be... I killed you! You're dead! ...you must be!" —Galvatron, "Vicious Circle!"
• "YOU did this... but you're DEAD!" —Dreadwind, "Race with the Devil" (cover)
• "No! It can't be you... you're dead!" —Megatron, "Salvage!" (cover)
• "Nooo! You're - you're dead... dead! I saw you die!" —Megatron, "Salvage!"
• "We're not stopping them!" / "How can we? They're already dead!" —Autobots, Transformers Comic issue 7
• "You're dead. I saw you die." —Starscream, Transformers Comic issue 22

POWER BEYOND MEASURE

• "FLEE! Power beyond MEASURE thiss one! Hiss light-- hurts!" —A Demon, "Still Life!"
• "He is Megatron to the ultimate degree--POWERFUL AND EVIL BEYOND MEASURE!" —Narrator, "Time Wars"
• "And somewhere in time, as a lone, humbled Predacon runs for his life, he fancies he hears a dark voice, whispering promises of POWER BEYOND MEASURE." —Narrator, "Terminus"
• "H-HK! POWER...beyond measure, but-- GNN-AAHH!" —Megatron, "Fire & Ice"
• "I offer FORBIDDEN fruit, timelost secrets, power...BEYOND MEASURE!" —The Fallen, "Fragmentation"

REAP THE WHIRLWIND

• "Our sins remembered, final judgment pronounced. The heavens opened, and we reaped, I say... REAPED THE WHIRLWIND." —Spinister, "Worlds Collide, Part 2 of 4"
• "When you posted me to this backwater rock in space, you were sowing the seeds of your OWN destruction! Now... REAP THE WHIRLWIND!" —Starscream, Infiltration #6
• "We saw the signs, the portents--the dark clouds gathering on our horizons. And yet we averted our eyes, pretended it wasn't coming. And in doing so we unleashed a storm of even greater magnitude, one that so very nearly destroyed us all. And now, it seems... others shall REAP THE WHIRLWIND." —Optimus Prime's inner monologue, Stormbringer #2
• "Now... REAP THE WHIRLWIND!" —One of several generic Optimus Prime dialogue options during character deployment, Transformers: Earth Wars

SURPLUS TO REQUIREMENTS

• "Doesn't matter we came through for you guys, almost got ourselves killed in the process...we're now just surplus to requirements, RIGHT?" —Hunter O'Nion, Escalation #1
• "We have to find him...before whoever has him decides he's SURPLUS to requirements." —Verity Carlo, Escalation #4
• "HEADMASTERS. In evolutionary terms, the next step. Which rather makes you two...SURPLUS to requirements!" —Machination Headmaster guy, Devastation #2
• "Truth is, ROLLBAR, we're surplus to requirements." —Dune Runner, "Spare Parts!"
• "Which rather makes him SURPLUS to requirements." —Scorponok, "Natural Selection, Part Three"
• "You are now...SURPLUS to requirements...world-conquering, Prime-slaying...BALLAST!" —Starscream, "Destiny, Part Three"

THE WORST CASE OF INDIGESTION IT'S EVER HAD

• "Well, then... I'm about to give you the worst case of INDIGESTION you've EVER had!" —Megatron, "Dark Shadows!"
• "READY. Let's give this stuff the worst case of INDIGESTION it's EVER had!" —Dirge, "A Rage in Heaven!"
• "Let's give this creature... the worst case of INDIGESTION it's ever had." —Optimus Prime, "Worlds Collide, Part 4 of 4"
• "A distraction, eh? How about the worst case of INDIGESTION in the galaxy!" —Stockade, Transformers Comic issue 20

TIME I MADE A STAND!

• "It is time for someone to make a stand. Time for someone to fight back. Someone like ME... a time like NOW!" —Professor Morris, "In the National Interest"
• "If I turn away now, I'll just keep on turning away. Sometimes you have to make a STAND!" —Carnivac, "Way of the Warrior"
• "No! I've had it with running! I left those soldiers to the Decepticons' tender mercies, I won't do it with you! IT'S TIME I MADE A STAND!" —Carnivac again, "A Savage Place!"
• "Instead of running around like headless chickens we should be trying to HELP her! I say we make a STAND!" —Thunderpunch, "On the Edge of Extinction!"
• "They cry out for strong leader, someone to make STAND, here-- NOW! But you turn away, turn other cheek!" —Grimlock, The War Within #5
• "Time... to make my stand!" —Optimus Prime, Transformers Comic issue 21

TIME I WASN'T HERE!

• "Auto lock on — transferring all electrical systems to outer hull. Which means it's time I wasn't here!" —Prowl, "Dinobot Hunt!"
• "Time I wasn't here!" —Hud, "Kings of the Wild Frontier."
• "Time I wasn't here!" —Nightbeat, "All Fall Down"
• "Time we weren't here, lady!" —Skydive, "All or Nothing!"
• "Time we weren't here!" —Hot Rod, Devastation #3
• "Time I wasn't he- AAAARGH!" —Jetfire just about gets it out, Revenge of the Fallen #4

WELL AND TRULY

• "Move Ark-19. I've locked out the signal, but our position here is well and truly compromised." —Nightbeat, Devastation #1
• "Great. Doomsday personified on our six...and the great wide open for company! We're well and truly- " —Ratchet, Devastation #3
• "To use an Earth expression, the horse has well and truly bolted." —Prowl, Spotlight: Cyclonus
• "All now well and truly in the hands of the enemy." —Optimus Prime, Spotlight: Cyclonus
• "Simply ensured that the contents of the cavern are well and truly beyond your reach." —Cyclonus, Spotlight: Cyclonus
• "And from there...the sky is well and truly the limit." —Scorponok, Maximum Dinobots #2
• "And I'll get the opposition well and truly warmed-up!" —Doublecross, Maximum Dinobots #3
• "Yes. We're well and truly compromised." —Optimus Prime, Maximum Dinobots #5
• "If that happens, the toxic-spill cover story the Chinese government cooked up...will be well and truly chop-suey'd." —William Lennox, Revenge of the Fallen #1

WHAT ARE YOU PLAYING AT?

• "What's Grimlock playing at?" —Slag, "The Wrath of Grimlock!"
• "Uhn! Blast it, Backstreet! What're you playing at?" —Dogfight, "Race with the Devil"
• "Nautilus? But he wasn't supposed to break cover for at least another month! WHAT ON CYBERTRON IS HE PLAYING AT?" —Rodimus Prime, "Wanted: Galvatron — Dead or Alive!"
• "WHAT IN CYBERTRON'S NAME DO YOU THINK YOU'RE PLAYING AT?!" —Smokescreen, "The Legacy of Unicron!"
• "SMOKESCREEN- What in the name of the MATRIX do you think you're playing at?" —Scattershot, "The Legacy of Unicron!"
• "Cutthroat! What do you think you're PLAYING AT?" —Hun-Grrr, "Time Wars"
• "Forget how! What in Primus' name do you think you're playing at?" —Springer, "Survivors!"
• "Whaddaya think you're playing at, Inferno?" —Broadside, "Survivors!"
• "What do you think" - "you're playing at?" —Doubleheader, "Whose Lifeforce Is It Anyway?"
• "Hey! What are you playing at, Nightbeat?" —Kup, "The Pri¢e of Life!"
• "What do you think you're PLAYING at? What EXAMPLE is this for a leader to set?" —Prowl, "Exodus!"
• "What do you think you are playing at?" —Swoop, "Another Time & Place"
• "Leader-1-- what are you PLAYING at? This is a dead end!" —Megatron, "Fortress, Part 4"

WHAT CHANCE DO WE HAVE?

• "If all those Autobots, all those humans, couldn't save Earth... WHAT CHANCE DO WE HAVE?" —Prowl, "Rhythms of Darkness!"
• "Galvatron accounted for the most powerful Autobots around, so what chance do I have?" —Jazz, "Rhythms of Darkness!"
• "In my OWN time I destroyed an entire RACE of Autobots, their MIGHTIEST LEADER! What CHANCE then -- DO YOU HAVE?!" —Galvatron II, "Surrender!"
• "Even the Mighty Optimus Prime has fallen! What chance then, for the rest of us?" —Scorponok, "On the Edge of Extinction!"
• "If even THIS great force can fall, what chance then for the REST of us?" —Optimus Prime, "On the Edge of Extinction!"
• "Five of us, weaponless, against the whole blasted Decepticon army! WHAT CHANCE DO WE HAVE?" —Prowl, "End of the Road!"

YOU WON'T BELIEVE THE THINGS I CAN DO NOW!

• "That was just a small demonstration. You won't BELIEVE the things I can do now!" —Cyclonus, "Fire & Ice"
• "But these days...you won't BELIEVE the things we can do!" —Bludgeon, "Revelation"
• "Prime...you won't BELIEVE the things I can do now!" —Megatron, Escalation #5
• "Not corrupted- liberated! You won't believe the things I can do now!" —Jazz, Transformers Comic issue 21

Notes

• Furman also uses repeated sound effects. Grimlock gives a stellar example of some favourites during The War Within as he chases after Prime and Megatron. SPOOM! used to be quite common, although it has stopped appearing since some fans decided it was so awesome that they asked Simon in person to use it more. Thankfully though, Transformers still have a tendency to die with a good ol' SHEEAAAGH!, more than once preceded by a truncated "Got to—" as their final words.
• Even Furman's non-canonical works are not immune to Furmanisms. In the pseudocanonical story "The Last Days of Optimus Prime" Megatron uses the phrase "It never ends."
• Furman himself is wryly aware of his frequently repeated phrases, and even refers to them as Furmanisms.
• In the "Shattered Expectations" April Fools comic, Goldbug uses a reverse Furmanism: "Once we have this secret technology the Decepticon insurgency will be FINISHED... OVER!" He later uses it (for real) in "Eye in the Sky". In later parts of the Shattered Glass universe, the Furmanisms begin getting not only flipped but fully mirrored.
• Fisitron uses Fisitronisms in his Wreckers: Declassified datalogs. Skyfall chides the author for overusing certain phrases, but Fisitron notes that after 331 datalogs one is bound to start repeating oneself. Bullets