I, Lowtech

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I'm starting with the Man in the Mirror/ I'm asking him to change his ways...
"I, Lowtech"
Publisher	Fun Publications
First published	September 17, 2008
Written by	Trent Troop and Greg Sepelak
Illustration by	Nick Roche
Colors by	Winston Bolen
Continuity	TransTech
Page count	47

A high-ranking TransTech businessman finds himself inexplicably trapped inside a lowtech body, and will stop at nothing to regain what is rightfully his.

Synopsis

Events from the prologue are in italics

Inside a dampened room, Cheetor and Stungun interrogate a damaged and uncooperative suspect. The mech demands to see his solicitor, but Stungun tells him that mouthpiece doesn't have the clearance. Cheetor tells the unbelieving suspect that according to the Barax Act, his legal counsel can get his information...so long as he testifies to the police investigation. The outraged suspect refuses, and Cheetor, content to wait, sets up a datacon, playing back the damaged and fragmented memories of one Bulletbike...

The TransTech businessman Bulletbike is trapped in darkness, feeling as though something is smothering him. Feeling a sensation of falling, Bulletbike cuts offline for sometime, until groggily waking up. With all his senses but the most basic ones missing, Bulletbike watches as a big, dark shape appears on his low-rez vision. The shape, prodding him with a cudgel, demands he gets up, and as Bulletbike struggles to get to his feet, he notices that he's not in the Auron District, and that the mech prodding him is a lowtech (quickly mentally correcting himself to "offworlder"). Bulletbike asks the robot who he is, and when the large robot tells him that he's Officer Blastcharge, the confused Bulletbike notices the Axiom Nexus Security Administration badge, realizing he's in the Offworld Zone. Angered by the cop's insults, the TransTech buisnessman gets up to his full height, proclaiming himself to be the 37th richest mech on Cybertron and CEO of RoboCo, and threatens to call Blastcharge's commander. As the cop laughs, Bulletbike equillibrium fails him, and he staggers onto his hands and knees above a puddle...in which he finally notices his appearance. Someone has put him into a lowtech body, horrifying the former TransTech.

Featured characters

(Numbers indicate order of appearance.)

Autobots	Decepticons	Predacons	Others
Skids (4) Cheetor (5) Stungun (6) Scrounge (9) Flareup (10) Bumblebee (11) Skyblast (13) Alpha Trion (23)	Bulletbike (3) Blastcharge (7) Frenzy (12) Swindle the Second (14) Swindle the Third (15) Swindle the First (16) Starscream (24)	Sling (8) Backslash (18)	Bulletbike (1) Andromeda (2) Ego (17) A Vehidrone (19) Aurik (20) Plush lizard (21) Cyclis (22)

Quotes

"Who are you?"
"Officer Blastcharge, but if you don't get up in the next cycle, it's going to be 'Sir Please Stop Thumping Me Across The Alleyway.'"

—Bulletbike & Blastcharge trade pleasantries

"Good day, friend, welcome to Swindle, Swindle and Swindle. I'm Swindle the Second, but you can call me Swindle. This here is Swindle the Third, but you can call him Swindle too. What can we do ya for?"

—A Swindle greets his new customer

"And exactly where were you during Bulletbike's rampage and the solar cycles leading up to it, Commander Cheetor? Do you routinely allow murderers to wander your precinct unmolested?"
"Just off the top of my processor... the Gutcruncher rebellion and the ongoing black market raids, two riots, the incident with General Demolishor, sixteen murders unrelated to this case, twelve armed robberies, three major traffic snarls, fifty-six minor accidents, and four inter-faction rumbles. Plus, all the times the Senate has 'requested' my personal appearance. We're stretched thin even with the assistance of the Freelance Police Legion. If we're pointing servos, however, border security, which is under your jurisdiction, was egregiously lax in investigating Ego's transport. Personally, I'd be worried about what else is slipping through."
"That matter is being investigated, I assure you."

—Starscream and Cheetor discuss a typical week in the Offworlder Zones

"If Bulletbike is what can happen when the system fails... why take the risk in voluntarily removing [the clarity codecs]?"
"Did you know that some organics willingly ingest non-lethal doses of deadly poisons?"
"Uh, no, sir?"
"It's to build up an immunity. Small, careful doses. Their body learns to fight it. Eventually, they can handle amounts that would, under normal conditions, kill them. So, think of this as building up an immunity to the urge to kill."
"I... guess that makes sense, sir. But I lost my temper with those two grease-stain chiselers, what if..."
"Don't worry, I wanted to knock their smug little heads together too. Millions of supposedly 'lower' mechanoids in this city have gone gigavorns without crossing the line. We're supposed to be 'transcendent'... if we need some piece of code implanted in us to foster basic morality, then what's the point? The trick isn't not having those feelings, Stungun. It's learning how to handle them. We augment the body, but not the spark. That takes hard work. ...besides, if you crossed that line, you'd be wearing a restraining bolt before you hit the ground."

—Stungun and Cheetor

Notes

• Scrounge isn't very good at being Xaaron. He claims he has a Matrix and that he's from universe Primax 093.0 Epsilon. Decoding that technobabble allegedly pegs him as an Emirate Xaaron from Transformers Fan Club fiction published in 1993. Yyyyyeah.
• Mentioned characters include Strika, Emirate Xaaron, Unicron, Sideways, Sidestep, Swindle the First's Bulletbike, Twitcher F451, Cryotek, Corvo, Primus, Megatron, Megatron, Bricolo, Scorponok, Scorponok, the Vok, Gutcruncher, General Demolishor, Hoist, and two grease-stained chiselers.

Transformer references

• As is standard for the TransTech stories, plenty of offworlders from various franchises show up. Aside from Generation 2 Power Master Bulletbike's body, these include:
  • Generation 1 Skids, who shows up in the preview.
• The "rough simulation image" of Bulletbike in the preview is an extremely toy accurate drawing of him, down to the connected feet and flat face.
• The line, "Unit Designate PM4-Bulletbike," refers to the offworlder Bulletbike's Power Master ID number. His home universe, Primax 095.0 Beta, is the universe of his tech specs, taken from his release year.
• The Swindle, Swindle and Swindle shop and Ego's showroom are stacked with Transformers easter eggs:
  • Swindle, Swindle & Swindle's shop features Catilla's helmet, Bludgeon's helmet, Jetfire's arm guard, Bumblebee's "Bee-Yotch" air freshener, a box full of empty Matrix containers, the bird sculpture from Pz-Zazz, Starscream's crown, one of Omega Supreme's rails, a Golden Disk, the Magnificence, jars with a T-Rex, a gorilla and a spider on their labels, a Powermaster engine/suit and a sheet full of faction symbols.
  • Ego's showroom, meanwhile, displays Leozack's gun, Stalker's missile, an Autobot jet pack, Scorponok's claw, a time-jump mechanism, Skyblast's Energon Spear, Blacker's sword, Tantrum's sword, Battle Ravage's tail-mace, Star Saber's Saberblade sword, Skywarp's arm guns, Megatron's fusion cannon, Soundwave's weaponry, Fistfight, Optimus Prime's ion blaster, Ultra Magnus's gun, an Exosuit, a Velocitronian Cyber Key, the AllSpark and the Matrix. While not pictured, Ego's desk is said to be built out of the shield of a Scorponok hailing from Primax 787.3 Alpha (in English, it's the Scorponok from the Japanese The Headmasters cartoon, so it's likely the Zarak Shield), and a sword labeled "Sword Of Megatron" hovers over it. Also not pictured but mentioned are a Requiem Blaster, a Jungle Planet Cyber Planet Key, a Reconfiguration Matrix and a spherical Vok instrument.
• Swindle tries to recommend Twitcher F451 to Bulletbike as a mental health technician.
• "Ego" is Generation 1 Starscream's French-Canadian name. He runs "C-Kar Technologies." Argh.
  • Fittingly, the last bit of dialogue between Ego and Bulletbike mirrors Starscream's brief dialogue with Galvatron in The Transformers: The Movie.
• Likewise, "Bricolo" is Scrapper's French-Canadian name. And he's an artist making furniture out of Transformer parts.
• "Corvo" is Skywarp's Italian name.
• The two "grease-stain chiselers" Stungun mentions are Jackpot and Hubcap, who ran afoul of the local police (and just about everyone else) in "Gone Too Far".
• Cheetor and Stungun muse that the whole Bulletbike fiasco could easily be set straight if only they could explain how TransTech Bulletbike's spark ended up in the lowtech Bulletbike's body. (As it stood, there was no evidence of spark transfer, so that wasn't a viable theory.) Additionally, the impostor Bulletbike recalls much of his forces to his building to protect him from the rampaging lowtech Bulletbike. This has the added effect of leaving the Transwarp Complex open to attack. Taking into consideration the events of the Transcendent story, an answer (confirmed in a flashback in "The Coming Storm: Part 1") appears. Topspin's spark-manipulation abilities would easily explain the spark transfer, setting up the removal of the guards from the Transwarp Complex, allowing Alpha Trion to escape to his home world.

Real-world references

• The title is probably a reference to Isaac Asimov's famous story collection, I, Robot. While I, Robot is not the first appearance of the "I, Noun" formulation (I, Claudius, for example), it's certainly the most famous involving robots. (I, Robot-Master! is a much clearer case.)
• The plush lizard in Ego's office is the Winslow, a central MacGuffin of Phil Foglio's "Buck Godot: Zap Gun For Hire" comics.
• At one point Bulletbike thinks that the force of a Vehidrone's voice is "one degree shy of sadistic", a line from the song "SenSurround" by They Might Be Giants.
• Bulletbike also notes that the Vehidrone has a "WVNG-class voice modulator", which might be a reference to Hugo Weaving.
• "Isen Power Station" and a "D-wy warehouse district" are mentioned as places Vehidrones can be found, a possible reference to a certain pair of Animated creators.
• While talking to Ego. Bulletbike apparently says he works in 'murders and executions', which Ego responds with he also worked in 'mergers and acquisitions', mirroring a scene from the horror film American Psycho.

Errors

• The data-con is referred to as a datacon, missing the hyphen.

External links

• "I, Lowtech" at The Official Transformers Collectors' Club