Swindle, Swindle and Swindle

Hurry, hurry, hurry! The greatest deals in all of Axiom Nexus and the outlying multiverse can only be found at Swindle, Swindle and Swindle! Been in business for hundreds of stellar cycles, with references from countless satisfied customers. Need a hand? Or a leg up? With us Swindles, your entire exo-frame can get that upgrade you always wanted, at the lowest prices imaginable! Got an itch under that ID bolt you just can't scratch? Swindle, Swindle and Swindle can help you reach those hard-to-get areas! Our team of qualified business associates are the best of the best out of Primax cluster—why, they're so in sync, they're practically of the same mind! Come on down (or UP!) to Zone 5 today and ask about our Electrum Club membership for even more tantalizing deals and steals!
Fiction
[edit]TransTech
[edit]Bug Bite bought a new C1186-P0019 body in the shop. Bad Boy and Treds later dropped by while searching for their missing friend, and managed to twist the arm of one of the Swindles enough that he revealed what Bug Bite had been sold. Swindle was able to use the information they'd found as leverage to persuade them to settle Bug Bite's account before they left. Withered Hope
After finding himself in a lowtech body, Bulletbike entered the store, requesting the three Swindles to run a fruitless scan for detecting traces of a possible spark exchange. Though they didn't believe his story, they humored him, and after the scan turned up negative, sold him some repairs. I, Lowtech
Vector Prime frequently shopped at Swindle, Swindle and Swindle, purchasing a cyberforcep from them and considering using them to modify his interior to better support human life.
After Vector Prime left to deal with a multiversal threat, one of the Swindles from Swindle, Swindle and Swindle took over his column. He used it as free advertising for his business, including such wares as:
- Artifacts
- A 200-carat Lysken crystal once owned by Princess Perfectina of Tau-Ursa
- A signed Project Prime team yearbook
- The Voyager 2 probe
- Creatures
- An adorable Dynametal duck trained by Weirdwolf
- Programmable Nanobots
- Food, power sources, and raw materials
- Alternium at 2 micrograms for 10,000 shanix, or 5 micrograms for 20,000
- Cy-gars from as far away as a Xobitor-cluster version of Zull
- sizzling Frijoles
- G-Metal girders. One for 40,000 shanix, all ten for 350,000
- Mechanite at half price
- Ultralite, great for fabrication
- Verronian Warp Star, sold to Cy-Kill
- Zodiac energy
- Medical supplies
- A REVERSE Reverse Evolution virus
- Enough Berzerker Button to make you forget all about your energon discharge virus
- Energon infusers
- The cure Red Alert developed for Gold Plastic Syndrome
- The Placebotron 5000, guaranteed to cure cybercrosis, metal fatigue, and Corrodia Gravis
- Services
- "Salesbotship: Getting to Yes", a nine-datatrax set
- Swindle, Swindle and Swindle Consulting, perfect for outsourcing your Robot Resources department
- Tools and other gear
- Electronic paint
- Reliable jet packs
- An Omni-directional relay all the way from Demus on a Malgus-cluster Tebris VII
- Rectifier coils, available in regular, deluxe, and ultra premium
- An Xbox 360 game console
- Trans-dimensional transportation options
- Upgrades and modifications
- Suicide button installation
- A Transmetal driver software patch to handle outlier abilities
- Y-wing bomber specifications for alt-mode scanning
- Weapons
- Bouncer bombs
- Inhibitor claws
- Quasar rifles
- Whips of all manner, for use on and off the battlefield
- Droids
- Blitz Engines
- Galaman
- Q-Drones
- Hellhound
- Centurions
- Terrorcons
- Vehicon Drones
- KSI Units
- Guardminders
- Overcharges
- Noisemaze production-type tactical bomber
Swindle was fired from the column for these advertorial answers, as they were considered a subversion of his contract. Swindle's Spiel, 2015/10/06 Axiom Nexus News Editor, 2015/10/06
A later host, Cy-Kill, noted that his purchase was highly illegal, that the name of the shop was ridiculous, and that the Swindles were not particularly high on scruples. Renegade Rhetoric (1), 2015/10/15
"Swindles" acquired the Lift-Ticket mech after bureaucratic errors prevented it from being sent back to Diaclone in its home universe. They installed Super AI into Lift-Ticket and used him as an errand boy to gather or sell material across universes. Lift-Ticket bio
Notes
[edit]All three Swindles are based on versions of his G1 toy, rather than his character model:
- "Swindle the First" is based on the red G2 redeco
- "Swindle the Second" is based on the partial-die-cast version of the G1 release, with a tan body and purple chest.
- "Swindle the third" is based on the all-plastic version of the G1 toy, with a grey-black chest.
Some of the items seen in the shop include Matrices (possibly knockoffs to judge by their coloration), something like insignia stickers, a crown reminiscent of Starscream's, Outback's arm, Bludgeon's helmet, Bumblebee's car air freshener, Hi-Q or Ginrai (or at least an exosuit resembling one of theirs in engine mode), some sort of golden disc, the Magnificence, and possibly the tracks of a Guardian robot.
Foreign names
[edit]- Japanese: Swindles (スィンドルズ Swindoruzu)