The Next Best Thing to Being There!

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When there's no more room in hell, the Constructicons will walk the Earth.
"The Next Best Thing to Being There!"
Publisher	Marvel Comics
First published	July 1985
Cover date	November 1985
Writer	Bob Budiansky
Penciler	Ricardo Villamonte
Inker	Brad Joyce
Colorist	Nel Yomtov
Letterer	Janice Chiang
Editor	Mike Carlin
Continuity	Marvel Comics continuity

The Autobots must stop the Decepticons from sending a message to Cybertron. But the Decepticons have a rather large surprise for them...

Synopsis

Shockwave succeeds in creating the first of his new generation of Decepticons—the Constructicons. They immediately depart with Soundwave on their first mission, to build a transdimensional radiowave scrambler with which to contact their home planet of Cybertron.

Prowl gives G.B. Blackrock a tour of the Ark. Along the way, they encounter the homesick Huffer, who's been focused on repairing the interstellar comm system instead of his primary assignment. Blackrock offers the Autobots a way to spy on the Decepticons within Blackrock's aerospace plant using a bugged telephone system. They are interrupted, however, by an inter-Autobot radio message from Bumblebee, who they learn of the attack by Laserbeak and six mysterious construction vehicles on the aerospace plant and send a team to intercept them.

Elsewhere, Sparkplug Witwicky returns home from his heart attack, and is surprised to find that Buster has actually cleared out the repair shop's entire backlog of automobiles. Buster wonders how to explain to his father his recent experience with Optimus Prime, and the subsequent powers he's gained.

Near the site of the Constructicon project, trucker Bomber Bill looks forward to a return home after a long assignment, but his truck is stolen by the Constructicons as raw material for the scrambler. Determined to get home, Bomber Bill attempts to follow the thieves, and meets the Autobots on the way. Huffer offers a lift to the human.

The Autobots attack the Constructicons, who reveal their ability to combine into the super-robot, Devastator. The others distract the slow-witted giant, but Huffer hesitates to destroy the scrambler, which he sees as a rare chance to contact home. The delay is enough time for Soundwave to charge the scrambler and begin sending his signal to Cybertron; Bomber Bill destroys the scrambler, but most of Soundwave's message goes through. Their mission accomplished, the Decepticons retreat. Huffer thanks Bomber Bill for his help, but laments that while the trucker can go home now, he can't.

At the aerospace plant, Shockwave discovers that Optimus Prime may no longer possess the Creation Matrix. If this proves true, Shockwave no longer has any reason to allow Prime to live. The Autobots, listening in from the Ark, are helpless.

Featured characters

(Numbers indicate order of appearance.)

Autobots	Decepticons	Humans
Optimus Prime (1) Prowl (12) Bluestreak (13) Brawn (14) Ratchet (15) Jazz (16) Sunstreaker (17) Huffer (18) Bumblebee (19) Hound (26) Ironhide (27) Sideswipe (29) (see below)	Shockwave (2) Scavenger (5) Mixmaster (6) Long Haul (7) Bonecrusher (8) Scrapper (9) Hook (10) Laserbeak (20) Jetfire (21) Soundwave (28) Devastator (30)	Gabe (3) Ferdy (4) G.B. Blackrock (11) Sparkplug Witwicky (22) Buster Witwicky (23) Bomber Bill (24) Ethel (25)

Quotes

"Devastator, you miswired clod! Get over here and destroy this Autobot before he ruins everything!"
"Destroy... Destroy Autobot... Destroy Autobot... which one... not these Autobots..."

—What Soundwave and Devastator have here is a failure to communicate!

"Fellow Autobots... I ask you to forgive me for my poor judgement. I... I allowed my longing for beloved Cybertron to blind me. I don't know if I can ever make up for my mistake."
"We all drive off the road sometimes when it comes to wantin' to go home, Huffer! Ain't nothin' else that can eat at your insides like that feelin'! ...We're all the same, big buddy! We suffer from the same achin' and we all make mistakes!"
"You're right, Bomber Bill -- except we're not quite the same. You can go home now... I can't."

—Huffer and Bomber Bill

Notes

Artwork and technical errors

• The half-completed Jetfire doesn't really look like Jetfire, aside from being a jet and having his colors; the pointed nosecone may be from his earlier toy-based character model.
• Prime's head is drawn as a sort of round generic lump for most of the issue, until the last page.
• Page 13:
  • Ironhide is colored like Ratchet, and Jazz is drawn and colored instead of Bluestreak.
  • The narration calls for Sideswipe, though he never shows up. Additionally, his name is spelled as "Sides Swipe".
• Page 15, panel 2 - the Autobots are rendered as a group of generic vehicles.
• Page 16, panel 4 - Bluestreak is drawn and colored as Prowl; an unidentifiable 'bot next to him is colored like Sunstreaker.
• Page 17:
  • Panel 1 - Bluestreak is once again drawn and colored as Prowl, and is missing his door-wings.
  • Panel 2 - Bumblebee has headlights on his shoulders, making him look a bit like a miscolored Bluestreak.
• Page 18: Ironhide is colored like Devastator.
• Page 19, panel 2: Bumblebee is actually a yellow-and-blue Windcharger; Bluestreak is drawn as a generic.
• Page 20: Soundwave's head has been strangely stylized throughout the issue, but when he threatens Bomber Bill it's especially bizarre.
• Page 21:
  • Panel 5: One more Prowl-as-Bluestreak.
  • Panel 6: There's two Bluestreaks, and Mirage, who shouldn't be there.

Continuity errors

• On page 4, the text says Scavenger transforms into a "truck crane"; he's actually a power shovel.
• Scavenger is also, strangely enough, shown as the leader of the Constructicons. Most often Scrapper is the leader, with Scavenger at the very bottom of the totem pole. Nonetheless, it seems to be Scrapper who's actually giving the order to transform, amid a jumble of transforming overlapping Constructicon parts.
• When Shockwave created the Constructicons, he made their brain modules first and only created their bodies this issue. Why does he create Jetfire's body first, before knowing that he'll be able to put life into it?
• Shockwave then breaks his own word, attempting to infuse life into Jetfire while he's still a half-finished shell; earlier he said he was going to infuse him with life after he was "whole".
• The narration notes that Cybertron is "hundreds of light years away". Back in issue #1 it was circling Alpha Centauri, only four light years away.

Continuity notes

• The Autobots resume repairing the Ark, a process that will finally be completed in issue #35.
• Jazz is presumably being repaired after his battle with Starscream, Frenzy and Circuit Breaker, shown last issue.
• Sunstreaker is noted as being badly damaged, building on the scene in issue #5, when Shockwave blasted him point-blank as an example to the detained Megatron, and explaining his absence last issue.
• Jetfire is introduced here, although only as an unfinished, lifeless shell.
• This is the last issue in which Prime's severed head is drawn with its antennae detached, with tubes and wires connecting them to the head. In the next two issues, it is drawn with the standard "wires holding the head" shown in issues #5 and #6.

Real-life references

• After the usual rounds in Portland and rural Oregon, the rest of the issue is set in southeastern Idaho.

UK printing

Issue #35:

• Backup strips: Machine Man - "Rime of the Ancient Wrecker!" Part 1, Robo-Capers and Matt and the Cat
• Page orders were changed for the UK printing to provide a more effective "cliffhanger" ending for issue #35. US page 11 was printed before pages 9 and 10. A caption was also removed from the last panel of page 10. The upshot of this change was that Bomber Bill was introduced 2 pages earlier in the UK version of this issue than in the US.

Issue #36:

• Backup strips: Machine Man - "Rime of the Ancient Wrecker!" Part 2, Robo-Capers and Matt and the Cat
• Issue #36 of the UK comic included "Robot War II", the second in an irregular series of text features summarising events seen in the comic so far.

Covers (3)

• 
  US issue #10 - Devastator was momentarily distracted by the tiny dancing Bluestreak on his fist
• 
  UK issue #35 - Muahahahaha!!!
• 
  UK issue #36 - Ramp up the lime green, folks!

• US cover: Devastator smacking down the Autobots, by Kyle Baker.
• UK issue #35 cover: Shockwave creates a Constructicon brain, by John Ridgway.
• UK issue #36 cover: reuse of art from US cover.

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Reprints

• 1987 — The Transformers Comics Magazine #5
• 2003 — Transformers: New Order
• 2008 — Classic Transformers Volume 1
• 2011 — The Transformers Classics, Vol. 1