Rook (SG)

This article is about the evil Autobot reporter. For his heroic counterpart, see Rook (Universe){{#switch:{{#sub:Rook (Universe)|-1}}|!=|.=|?=|.}} For a list of other meanings, see Rook (disambiguation).
Rook is an evil Autobot reporter from the Shattered Glass continuity family.
PRIMAX 406.3 ETA NEVER FORGET!!!!!

Every Autobot's seen Rook's face as one of ABN's head reporters (since watching ABN is, of course, compulsory under penalty of death). He heads up the popular show Around Cybertron with the help of his co-reporter Punch and his camerabot Sprocket.

Rook dares to see the big picture! He sees the disturbing patterns forming, of the twisted depravity of Decepticons looking to endanger the way of life of simple, hard-working Autobots like you. He knows that the stern policies of Optimus Prime encourage the entrepreneurial spirit of Autobots everywhere, and he fights against the crippling socialism that the Decepticons would impose in their so-called "utopia." He shares your heartfelt beliefs that the reins of power are properly wielded in the servos of a violent madman, rather than the soft appendages of Decepticon "intellectuals." He understands your frustration with those fembots who get uppity and forget their place.

Others may claim Rook is merely a partisan hack, but this is only because he speaks for the people! He's the only one brave enough to speak up about what those disturbingly virtuous Decepticons are up to! He loves his planet. But sometimes he fears for it.

{{#if:Rook, uh, reunites with his desk as a disappointed Mirage watches, "Around Cybertron issue 7"|
“ Mmm, desk. Did you miss Daddy? Yeah? You di-- Oh! I'm sorry, I didn't see you there. ”
{{#if:Rook, uh, reunites with his desk as a disappointed Mirage watches, "Around Cybertron issue 7"|

—Rook, uh, reunites with his desk as a disappointed Mirage watches, "Around Cybertron issue 7"{{#if:|, {{{3}}}}}

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Fiction

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Fun Publications Shattered Glass continuity

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A mysterious energy surge was discovered near the former Durax Hospital for Protoforms. Rook was quick to report that it was likely part of a twisted Decepticon plot to rebuild the hospital and deprive protoforms of the chance for whatever didn't kill them to make them stronger. Of course, the Autobot Civil Security Corps hadn't actually investigated yet, but there was still no doubt whatsoever that the Decepticons were responsible. Film at 2300. Around Cybertron #3

In an exclusive bit of breaking news, Rook turned the broadcast over to his new reporter Punch. Apparently the traitorous Autobots Skyfall and Zetar had been seen consorting with an unknown Decepticon near Iacon. Fortunately, Punch was able to get the scoop from an eyewitness and expose the sordid affair. Around Cybertron #4

Rook reported on the latest in entertainment news: the "infamous" comedic duo Dreadwind and Darkwind had been captured by Autobot forces and sentenced to death on account of their "painfully uplifting" comedy tours. Rook was there to report on every moment of their last words and subsequent execution in the smelting pool. Now that was a comedy act every upstanding Autobot could appreciate. Around Cybertron #5

Rook ended up delivering quite probably the most amazing news of his career—Megatron was dead! As he awaited the footage of Optimus Prime's reaction, he didn't envy the bot who would tell Prime the news that his vendetta would be denied. Until he found out that the bot in question was himself, as Prime had been watching the Around Cybertron broadcast. Oops. Around Cybertron #6

The ABN boss made the supreme mistake of appointing Andromeda as the anchor while Rook was on "enforced vacation". But, being an unreliable fembot, she ran off to cover a coup attempt against Optimus Prime, leaving Rook free to reclaim the desk that was rightfully his. It enjoyed his loving pats and sweet nothings until he was startled by Mirage's presence in the interview chair. Around Cybertron #7

When a Decepticon expert was needed to report on the latest news story, Rook knew that Andromeda couldn't help but agree that Punch was that expert, and that the viewing audience didn't want to hear her protest otherwise.

But it seemed that the insidious kindness of the DBN anchors had taken hold of Punch, causing him to defect to their network. What was the universe coming to when upstanding individuals turned traitor, while Rook was left with the dregs like "Romy"? Around Cybertron #8

Notes

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