I, Lowtech

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I'm starting with the Man in the Mirror/
I'm asking him to change his ways...
"I, Lowtech"
Publisher Fun Publications
First published September 17, 2008
Written by Trent Troop and Greg Sepelak
Illustration by Nick Roche
Colors by Winston Bolen
Continuity TransTech
Page count 47

A high-ranking TransTech businessman finds himself inexplicably trapped inside a lowtech body, and will stop at nothing to regain what is rightfully his.

Synopsis

Axiom Nexus security officers Cheetor and Stungun are interrogating a suspect. In an attempt to get him talking, Cheetor activates a recording of another mech's memories.

The recording begins with lowtech offworlder Bulletbike awaking in an alley in an Offworld Zone of Axiom Nexus. He is convinced that he is actually the TransTech Bulletbike, CEO of RoboCo. His last memory in his old body was at a party celebrating a lucrative defense contract with the Senate. Someone must have captured him and downgraded his body into this primitive lowtech form.

A scuffle in the street with a gruff organic mech ends in the other's death, caused by Bulletbike stabbing him with a pipe. He dumps the body down a refuse chute into the Heap and takes the off-lined attacker's shiv before passing out.

Scrounge, a primitive mech, even by lowtech standards, rouses Bulletbike and offers him a drink. Scrounge guides Bulletbike to an EconTerm, necessitating a ride through the Offworld Zones' squalor in his new, decrepit vehicle mode. Upon arrival at the terminal, Bulletbike is dismayed that he cannot remember his account number to access his money.

At that moment, a holographic projection appears over the city, broadcasting TransTech Bulletbike's visage. He speaks of quelling danger in the Offworld Zones, and the lowtech Bulletbike realizes that his TransTech body wasn't stripped down or downgraded, but stolen from him. An impostor has taken his place. Scrounge offers to seek information in the Heap about Bulletbike's situation and rolls off.

Bulletbike holds up a passing Omnicon who looks like he's got money. The Omnicon's raised hands sparkle with the manifestation of an energon blade. One momentary blackout later, and Bulletbike's hand is covered with the mech's fluids. Bulletbike is more concerned with his lack of revulsion than with the actual murder.

Armed with the late Omnicon's cred-key, Bulletbike heads to Swindle, Swindle & Swindle. He orders a full system scan, but it comes up negative for spark swap. He opts for some of the Swindles' other services and departs.

Sometime later, as Bulletbike hides his latest victim, Scrounge pulls up. Bulletbike asks about a communications node, and Scrounge guides him to the alley behind Cryotek's place. He makes a call to his business rival Ego. Bulletbike, whom Ego wouldn't recognize in his current form, offers Ego information about a flaw in RoboCo's Vehidrones. In exchange, Bulletbike wants out of the Offworld Zones. Ego demands proof. After a fond farewell to Scrounge, Bulletbike heads to the warehouse district and confronts a Vehidrone. He exploits a weakness in its optics and retrieves the drone's Processor Matrix. Meeting with Ego, Bulletbike, now going by the alias "Wildfly", offers the Processor Matrix as proof of his information, and Ego escorts him secretly past the security checkpoints into Axiom Nexus proper.

Ego welcomes Bulletbike into his offices, which are adorned with varied weapons from across the multiverse. After Bulletbike hands over a recording of his confrontation with the Vehidrone, Ego menacingly approaches him. Bulletbike charges and injects Ego with Nucleon, rendering him incapacitated. Bulletbike proceeds to abscond with several of the higher-end weapons from Ego's collection.

He pitilessly guns his way back into his own building to confront the impostor Bulletbike. Before entering the office, Bullletbike hears the impostor talking with someone on the comm about withdrawing security forces to the building for protection against the rampaging maniac. Bulletbike engages the impostor in combat, showing signs of encroaching insanity. Finally, he thrusts the impostor out the window. Security guards sweep into the office, and Bulletbike calmly explains that everything is all right. He then steps out the window, plummeting to the ground after his TransTech body.

Back in the interrogation room, the recording ends. Cheetor continues to question the impostor Bulletbike. Although everything points to TransTech Bulletbike being an impostor, there's no evidence to prove a spark swap ever occurred.

Starscream has a word with Cheetor. They discuss the Bulletbike case and a possible connection to the Transwarp Complex incident. Since TransTech Bulletbike recalled security forces to protect himself, the Transwarp complex was left open to attack from Alpha Trion. However, in addition to the lack of proof regarding the spark swap, there is likewise no solid connection between Bulletbike and Trion.

(Numbers indicate order of appearance.)

Autobots Decepticons Predacons Others

Quotes

"Who are you?"
"Officer Blastcharge, but if you don't get up in the next cycle, it's going to be 'Sir Please Stop Thumping Me Across The Alleyway.'"

—Bulletbike & Blastcharge trade pleasantries


"Good day, friend, welcome to Swindle, Swindle and Swindle. I'm Swindle the Second, but you can call me Swindle. This here is Swindle the Third, but you can call him Swindle too. What can we do ya for?"

—A Swindle greets his new customer


"And exactly where were you during Bulletbike's rampage and the solar cycles leading up to it, Commander Cheetor? Do you routinely allow murderers to wander your precinct unmolested?"
"Just off the top of my processor... the Gutcruncher rebellion and the ongoing black market raids, two riots, the incident with General Demolishor, sixteen murders unrelated to this case, twelve armed robberies, three major traffic snarls, fifty-six minor accidents, and four inter-faction rumbles. Plus, all the times the Senate has 'requested' my personal appearance. We're stretched thin even with the assistance of the Freelance Police Legion. If we're pointing servos, however, border security, which is under your jurisdiction, was egregiously lax in investigating Ego's transport. Personally, I'd be worried about what else is slipping through."
"That matter is being investigated, I assure you."

—Starscream and Cheetor discuss a typical week in the Offworlder Zones


"If Bulletbike is what can happen when the system fails... why take the risk in voluntarily removing [the clarity codecs]?"
"Did you know that some organics willingly ingest non-lethal doses of deadly poisons?"
"Uh, no, sir?"
"It's to build up an immunity. Small, careful doses. Their body learns to fight it. Eventually, they can handle amounts that would, under normal conditions, kill them. So, think of this as building up an immunity to the urge to kill."
"I... guess that makes sense, sir. But I lost my temper with those two grease-stain chiselers, what if..."
"Don't worry, I wanted to knock their smug little heads together too. Millions of supposedly 'lower' mechanoids in this city have gone gigavorns without crossing the line. We're supposed to be 'transcendent'... if we need some piece of code implanted in us to foster basic morality, then what's the point? The trick isn't not having those feelings, Stungun. It's learning how to handle them. We augment the body, but not the spark. That takes hard work. ...besides, if you crossed that line, you'd be wearing a restraining bolt before you hit the ground."

—Stungun and Cheetor

Notes

  • Scrounge isn't very good at being Xaaron. He claims he has a Matrix and that he's from universe Primax 093.0 Epsilon. Decoding that technobabble allegedly pegs him as an Emirate Xaaron from Transformers Fan Club fiction published in 1993. Yyyyyeah.

Errors

  • TBA

Transformer references

Real-world references

  • The title is probably a reference to Isaac Asimov's famous story collection, I, Robot. While I, Robot is not the first appearance of the "I, Noun" formulation (I, Claudius, for example), it's certainly the most famous involving robots. (I, Robot-Master! is a much clearer case.)
  • The plush lizard in Ego's office is the Winslow, a central MacGuffin of Phil Foglio's "Buck Godot: Zap Gun For Hire" comics.
  • At one point Bulletbike thinks that the force of a Vehidrone's voice is "one degree shy of sadistic", a line from the song "SenSurround" by They Might Be Giants.
  • Bulletbike also notes that the Vehidrone has a "WVNG-class voice modulator", which might be a reference to Hugo Weaving.
  • "Isen Power Station" and a "D-wy warehouse district" are mentioned as places Vehidrones can be found, a possible reference to a certain pair of Animated creators.
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