G.I. Joe vs. the Transformers: Black Horizon

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Hawk and the Autobots learn that in the caves beneath Himilayas, something evil has been summoned to earth. Earth's only hope lies with the warror within

G.I. Joe vs the Transformers: Black Horizon #1

Writer: Tim Seely
Artist: Andrew Wildman
Colors: Wes Dzioba & Art Lyon
Letters: Brian J. Crowley
Nemesis Editor: Mike O'Sullivan

Synopsis

In the late seventies, Joseph Colton leads the Adventure Team through the Himalayan mountains. The three come under attack from the airborne forces of General Mihai, luckily, one of the Adventure Team is more than man, he's some kind of Atomic Man.

The attacking jets ready to see if their missiles would be more effective, but it taken down by some weird organic looking yellow mass. The pilot of the other jet is pulled from his aircraft by Nemesis Enforcer. From cover, Adventure Team's guide Chok-Pa recognizes their saviors as not friend, but Kohbrala, but it's too late for Bludgeon has already found the tasty Adventure Team. Atomic Man tries to fight against the giant zombie samurai, but the Atomic Punch doesn't stop Bludgeon from cutting the Atomic Man's life away. Joe Colton and his Chok-Pa are only saved by Pythona's wish to keep the two captive. And so the original G.I. Joe is Missing in Action

Decades later, in Denver, Hawk violently awakens from dreams haunted by images causing by his contact with Matrix. Turning on the TV, he sees a conveniently timed news broadcast that recap how Hawk was left to resign from G.I. Joe after technology from the attack on Washington was found being exploited in secret by the Government in Area 52. Later, after Hawk's dressed, he begins an interview with Ms. Allen (the same reporter he was on TV earlier in the morning). But while attempting to explain to her that his claims of alien technology on Earth are honest, Hawk receives a telepathic message from Skids. Cutting his interview short, Hawk goes outside where Ms. Allen watches him get beams up into Cosmos's UFO-mode.

On the Isla De La Juventud, Destro sells some leftover mechs to a Mr. Calandero. Destro explains that suspicion of spies inflates the price of the hardware. Right then, validating Destro's paranoia, Eject reveals himself. Destro fights back by activating the dormant S.N.A.K.E.S to cover his own retreat, but Prowl and Sideswipe are ahead of him. Destro's aerial forces arrive to rescue their master, but.at least Cosmos is able to save/arrest Mr. Calandero. Eject, apparently a total badass, walks away from the pile of destroyed mechs.

On board Cosmos, Firewall receives a loud radio broadcast claiming "I return…". Duke, remembering the voice from his dreams, and states a need for Optimus Prime.

On Cybertron, Optimus Prime prepares for his return to Earth, appointing Ultra Magnus to manage Cybertron in Prime's absence. Hot Rod, not feeling that Prime is needed on Earth, argues that other Autobots are better suited to reinforce the Autobots already aiding in the purging of Cybertron technology from Earth, and then mentions Bumblebee. Ultra Magnus warns Hot Rod that the younger Autobot should be more sensitive.

In the underground kingdom of Cobra-La, Pythona brings news to her prisoner (an aged Joseph Colton). Dr. Mindbender has been able to activate a beacon to signal Unicron. Joe retains a silent rage.

Cleaning up the leftovers from the Autobot's bust of Destro, members of G.I. Joe regret that the Autobots, while working towards similar goals, aren't actively working in co-operation with G.I. Joe. Flint's flirtings with Lady Jaye are interrupted by a phone call from Hawk, requesting Flint's presence on a trip to Tibet.

Inside of Cobra-la's underground Royal Chambers, Mindbender interrupts Golobulus' bath to report that G.I. Joe has come to the Himalayas. Golobulus, who eats people, orders The Pretenders deployed. Mindbender's report is accurate, as just then, Prime, Flint, and Hawk are dropped on the snowy mountainside.

In space, outside of the solar systerm, the alien Lobotomaxx and his two partners plan to plunder Earth - beyond the reaches of the United Universe. But their plans are abruptly ended when their ship becomes a snack for Unicron.

Resting in his Silent Castle in the scenic Transcarpathia, Destro communicates with Pythona regarding a suspiciously high payment he receives merely for transporting mushrooms in the bottom of his ships. Because Destro's organization received payment despite the cargo being lost, and Pythona's refusal to explain the purpose of the mushrooms, Destro confesses to Mistress Armada that he feels he "sold out the human race".

Holycrap this synopsis is too damn long. Alright I passed the centerfold so I'm taking a break.

On the other side of the communication, Pythona reveals to Mindbender that Destro's services were only a means to get the Autobots exposed to the mushrooms - which are organics devices made so the Autobots can be located by the Nyarath.

The Nyarath, a large floating biological transport, hunts the Autobots to their underwater base, the Arc II off the coast of California. Inside the base, Firewall and Eject vigorously watch a fashion show, when Skids burst in claiming the ship is under attack.

At the same time on the other side of the world, Bludgeon and a number of Cobra-la soldiers attack Optimus Prime and his human pals. Bludgeon gloats about how he's changed for the better during his time on Earth, learning to love his pretender shell and mastering Metallikato. The Decepticon also has a special attack - leaking metal eating slime. Hawk breaks from his inhuman opponents to help Prime - by using Matrix-powers to overload Bludgeon's head with 11 million Cybertronian songs. Prime and the humans escape into another part of the caverns while they can. This escape angers Golobulus, but Dr. Mindbender is unconcerned.

Cosmos searches for the Arc II, passing the Nyarath. But the only survivors he can find are Eject and Firewall floating in the water. Mainframe boards Cosmos, and Eject sends the two to back-up Prime and Hawk in Tibet.

Pythoa continues to leak information, as a manner of teasing, to the captive Joe Colton. Colton reacts to the news that Hawk is one of the humans involved. After Pythona leaves the jail cell, the original G.I. Joe frees himself and gets ready to kick ass like a A Force of One.

At The Pit, Duke and Mainframe receive a transmission from Firewall, who advises G.I. joe to take action. Now let's have a flashback.

A millenia ago, in a sepia era, The Chaos Bringer arrives at the delicious planet Earth, ready to devour it and it's tasty inhabitants. Humans couldn't resist in any fashion. However, the anscestors of Cobra-La (featuing a female Golobulous-like character) had a metal-devouring spore ready, that could (in theory) devour Unicron. The members of Cobra-La agreed to go into exile, and Unicron agreed not to eat the planet, only to consume human establishment - in thousands of years when it had developed to the point where it could nourish him.

Flint, Hawk, and Optimus consider the story behind the wall printings they've read, and Hawk and his sidekicks know the diagrams are telling the truth. Bludgeon and his forces find the three, but luckily, so does the escaped Joseph Colton.

Quotes

"All right, Atomic Punch… we've got a giant zombie samurai here. Don't fail me now."

-The Atomic Man

"I cannot shake the feeling that I may have just sold out the human race."

-Laird Destro

"Shhh! She's about to guess who picked the spagetti strap floral print sundress"

-Eject, who is STILL BADASS.

"Ah, you remember me, despite my new body. Though it was originally a form taken out of necessity, I've grown to love it."

-Bludgeon

"I bet you're not so tough without your hocket mask are ya, crab boy!?" "Oh… shave my head and call me Harry."

-Flint

"In fact, forget about your date with that redhead you met on myplace.com. Sorry, like I said... I'm a hacker."

-Firewall

Notes of Interest

  • According to the news report, the attack on Washington DC in the first volume of the series was "last year", meaning the principal events of all four miniseries occur in a relatively short period of time.
  • How did Bludgeon and the other Pretenders come into the service of Cobra-la? I don't know.
  • Pythona and Destro discuss the Autobot's conquest of one of Destro's ships - but when Destro was defeated by the Autobots earlier, there was no strong indication they were on a boat.
  • When the Nyarath hunts down the Autobots, the same photograph of the sky is used in the background three times.
  • Bludgeon knows Metallikato! Awesome!
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