Buster Witwicky and the Car Wash of Doom

	; This is awesome. You know it is.
	"Buster Witwicky and the Car Wash of Doom"
Publisher	Marvel Comics
Shipping date	April 28, 1987
On-sale date	May 19, 1987
Cover date	August 1987
Writer	Bob Budiansky
Breakdowns	Don Perlin
Finishes	Jim Fern
Colorist	Nel Yomtov
Letterer	Rick Parker
Editor	Don Daley
Continuity	Marvel Comics continuity

When Buster learns that the Decepticons are hypnotizing humans into giving them fuel, only he can thwart their plans.

Synopsis

Shockwave stages the capture of an oil tanker to demonstrate his superior leadership to Fuel Auditor Ratbat, but is embarrassed to discover that the tanker was emptied before the siege. Ratbat suggests that, rather than having the Decepticons expend their own energy, it would be more fuel efficient to have the humans obtain fuel for the Decepticons. When Shockwave suggests that humans are unpredictable, and they shouldn't be used, Ratbat tells Shockwave that he already is.

Meanwhile, business at Sparkplug Witwicky's service station is booming, thanks in no small part to the installation of a "Wash and Roll" automated car wash at the station. Not all is well with Buster, though. Business is so good that Sparkplug needs his son to help out at the station, and Buster never gets to get away to pursue his own interests, such as spending time at Dairy King with his girlfriend, Jessie. Not only that, but news of a fuel shortage has him worried.

At the corporate headquarters of Blackrock Enterprises, a hypnotized G.B. Blackrock holds a press conference touting the success of "Wash and Roll" car washes, and announcing the debut of the "Wash and Roll" Mark II. After the members of the press leave, Blackrock pulls out a cassette from his jacket, which promptly transforms into the Decepticon Ratbat.

That evening, Jessie arrives to spend some time with Buster, and to try out the new car wash. While making out with Buster in the middle of the car wash (so that Buster's eyes are averted from the front of the car), Jessie is hypnotized by the flashing lights at the end of the car wash. Buster notices that something is wrong almost immediately, and when Jessie tells him that she has to leave, he decides to follow her. Buster finds himself at a Blackrock Oil Storage Facility, where Jessie begins to siphon the fuel from her truck into a silo. Buster is able to snap Jessie out of her trance by flashing his headlights at her, but before they can both leave, they discover that Buster's father Sparkplug is among a group of people arriving at the facility. Buster stays to watch, and sees G.B. Blackrock address the people assembled, explaining to them all that while the current "Wash and Roll" washes only hypnotize people temporarily, the new "Wash and Roll" Mark II will have permanent effects. Before Sparkplug becomes the first "customer" of the new car wash, Buster intervenes, and is confronted by Ratbat. With help from Jessie, Buster is able to escape, and Buster throws a crowbar at a large neon sign, causing a bright flash that wakes up the hypnotized people present. The Decepticons flee, and G.B. Blackrock promises to dismantle all the "Wash and Roll" stations currently in existence, and to use the profits from the stolen gasoline to help the poor.

Featured characters

(Characters in italic text appear only in flashbacks.)
(Numbers indicate order of appearance.)

Autobots	Decepticons	Humans
Bluestreak (13) Bumblebee (14)	Ramjet (1) Thrust (2) Laserbeak (3) Vortex (4) Bombshell (5) Kickback (6) Shrapnel (7) Shockwave (8) Ratbat (9) Astrotrain (17) Octane (18) Blitzwing (19)	Buster Witwicky (10) Sparkplug Witwicky (11) Jessie (12) G.B. Blackrock (15) Dunkin (16)

Quotes

"My mechafangs have sampled all types of fuel from many worlds, Shockwave...but this vessel carries fuel of a vintage yet to be distilled -- it's empty!"

—Ratbat puts the burn on Shockwave's operations.

"Now according to my rough estimates... your warriors consumed approximately 60,238.4 energy units for a net usable return of 23.4 energy units -- that is, if someone goes below deck and licks the tanker's walls clean!"

—Ratbat isn't letting this one go.

"Trying to escape, fleshling? How wasteful! Conserve your energy! Surrender to the inevitable!"

—Ratbat performs a cost-benefit analysis on Buster's terror

Notes

Artwork and technical errors

Continuity errors

Why should the hypnotized G.B. Blackrock need to explain the nature of the "Wash and Roll" stations to already hypnotized people?

Continuity notes

Sparkplug Witwicky's service station is a subsidiary of Blackrock Enterprises.
This is the only time Buster Witwicky and G.B. Blackrock, two of the comic's most prominent humans, ever meet face-to-face.
The Wash and Roll is the culmination of Ratbat's plan in sending the freighter to Earth in "Crater Critters".
This is one of the few issues of the series in which no Autobots appear (outside a one-panel flashback).
A flashback recalls Buster's adventures with Bluestreak and Bumblebee back in issue #11.

Real-life references

This story's title (and the adventure serial font used to present it) is derived from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, released three years prior to the publication of this issue. "Raiders of the Last Ark" is similarly named to the prior film in the Indiana Jones series.
The prologue is set in the Caribbean; the rest of the issue, in and around Portland.
Jessie invites Buster to "Dairy King", a play on Dairy Queen, for an ice cream soda.

UK printing

Issue #128

Back-up strips: Iron Man - "Deep Trouble!" and Robo-Capers
AtoZ: Cosmos and Dead End

Issue #129

Back-up strips: Iron Man - "Deep Trouble!"

Other trivia

For many years, this story was one of the most loathed and/or mocked stories in organised fandom. Even in 2011, Bob Budiansky turned to it as an example when laughing about how 1990s fandom viewed him: "still carrying grudges about the fact I wrote Buster Witwicky and the Car Wash of Doom or something".^[1] This has died down now the fandom has newer things to hate on, and enough people have a soft spot for it to get a reprint for IDW's Generations series (complete with a B-movie style cover by Nick Roche).

Bot Roster

Autobots: 30 active, 7 deserters, and 14 in repair bay. (51 total)
Decepticons: 34 active as Ratbat comes to Earth; 10 offline - at this point we are adding Dirge to the count, as he was taken out in the G.I. Joe crossover miniseries. (44 total)

Foreign Localization

Swedish: "Buster Witwicky och Biltvätt till domedagen!" ("Buster Witwicky and the Carwash to Doomsday")

Covers (3)

US cover: Ratbat attacks Buster and Jessie, by Bob Budiansky.
UK issue #128 cover: Shockwave leading an attack against an oil tanker, by David Hine and John Burns.
UK issue #129 cover: Ratbat attacks Buster by Robin Smith.

US issue #31
UK issue #128
UK issue #129

Reprints

Transformers: Treason TPB cover: Defensor, Sky Lynx, Wheeljack, Grimlock and half of Ratbat, by Andrew Wildman.
Treason hardback cover: Bruticus, Blaster, and Robin Lindley, by Stewart Johnson, Andy Lanning & Chris Blythe.
The Transformers: Generations #12 cover A: Ratbat, Jessie and Buster, movie poster style, by Nick Roche.
Generations #12 cover B: line-art version of cover A.
Generations #12 incentive cover: reuse of a panel from this issue.
Generations TPB cover: reuse of the Nick Roche cover to Generations issue #1.